-- Blessed Footprints --

wow wee.... butt--kicking!

2007-04-04T08:10:00.000-07:00

1. I got my 2nd traffic ticket. The first was in Oregon for speeding - 95 bucks for driving at 75mph. The second one came at Bayan Lepas FIZ just out of Intel opposite Agilent for talking on the handphone while driving - RM200? Call me stupid for not bribing but I try not to compromise my integrity, if I can help it. :(

2. Suspected hand made bomb on the Penang bridge today - the authority closed the bridge. :O Massive jam from start to the end of coastal stretching towards Bayan Lepas. Tonnes of people out of their cars sitting by the road side. Opposite side/direction of the road, as usual... the kepohs (I prefer to call them the overconcerns), they caused another jam unnecessarily.

3. Went to work at 5.30am today. Got back at 5.30pm. No breaks in between with back to back meetings. 1 bottle of yoghurt drink + 2 packet of Mamees for 'lunch'.
Got me desperate - arrived early at dinner place and decided to eat BY MYSELF while waiting for my friends to turn up. Desperado - I've never done that before.

This month's Cleo article writes 'How to make your life kick butt!' - '#1 Shake up the routine' I think with the 3 unusual happenings, my life is SO butt-kicking! Haha~

weekly update #1

2007-04-02T00:47:00.000-07:00

I've decided to write at least ONE post per week - so just to keep this blog alive, and since this is my first attempt on this new errand, it'll be on what I've been up to this past week cos I can't think of anything better to write. Better suggestions?

I've been going to work at 6+am for the past week and by the end of the day, I usually feel like a dead fish. We didn't have cg this week because yours truly who was supposed to lead a bible study discussion, instead had to stay in bed to recuperate from insuffient rest. :( But those guys went for yummy banana leaf rice instead. *green*

Apart from that, we had an interesting Korean visitor (works in the US) conducting days of interesting yet DEEP STUFF classes. Funnily, he reminds of iceberg! It's the eyes and the face shape I think. Heh~ Anyway, he was a funny senior engineer who makes jokes during our 'lawatan sambil belajar' to the assembly/manufacturing line - which was one of the major highlights of my week. I had to dress up in a smog (jacket like, not the bunny suit!) and ESD wraps for the feet. Since the only suit I was able to loan was an XL, I ended up looking like a clown, flip-flopping my way around the production for 2 hours in an oversized jacket! Tiring, but very interesting to see our design work being manufactured.

Friday celebrated Joash's silver jubilee Birthday. :) We hung out with Kath & Bob for lunch and a movie and had a quiet Italian dinner after. The day after was more exciting with more friends for Jap buffet - where a few guys were over-sake-ed with pink rosy cheeks!
Having been in PG for almost 2 years, I finally went up Penang Hill. The train ride was SLLOOOOOOOWWWWWW and by the time we were up there it was already dark. However, the night view from the island's highest point was breathtakingly beautiful! Makes me feel proud of this little island. :)

That's almost the end of my week. Blessed to have today as a replacement holiday - good for catching up with laundry and a long-time-no-see friend for a 3-hour lunch before she heads off to UK for good? :) My heart smiles for her for this great new beginning and an exciting new journey ahead.

"My head is too big, and my arms are too small. Have you thought this plan through and if it could work? Master?"

Cheers, to blogging and to traveling!

2007-03-27T06:18:00.000-07:00

I'm a lousy blogger. I've only written 3 posts since my return from US (and the last one don't even count) - that's 3 posts in 6 months. :( So why didnt I write more? LAZY! Also, I never see myself as a person who writes well. But the lack of practise just makes it worse, I think. I'm even struggling to write this one, there's such great temptation to just close this whole window. :p

So, here's announcing that I'll be away... (again) but this time shorter - just for 10 weeks I'll be working from our Oregon site. Not as exciting as the last trip where I get to do the whole West Coast thingy. This time round, I'll need to stay put in ONE state. But I'll always be tempted to spend time at my favourite - the evergreen state, Washington for the weekends. In fact, I'm making my land in Seattle to spend my weekend over at Alex's place to recover from jetlag prior to starting work. Our company's jet planes make it convinient to hop on the plane to/fro various sites. :)

I'm not sure if I want to start a different blog for this trip like I did last year - because I'll just end up not updating it and it'll eventually just end up looking pathetic as time goes by, just like this one.
Are you sensing the sadness here? Is this what people mean by "emo"? Heh~

So, leavin' on the jetplane it is. I'll miss people. Lots and lots of people.
(Let's just hope I don't get homesick in the cold Northwest!)

And, here's a toast to blogging. Cheers! This post made it.

Do I talk too much?

2006-12-07T23:20:00.000-08:00

I've come to realise that, sometimes I do not know how to guard my tongue.
I do wish I could be a nicer person to be around and stop offending people with what I say; especially without realising, or I'd stop being sarcastic for that matter.

SORRY if I've ever done that to you.

Just a step out of the staircase

2006-12-04T04:21:00.000-08:00

I learn a new quote today, it's something I've been reminded constantly of lately. Martin Luther King Jr puts them in no-better words "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

As an ordinary warm-blooded person, I succumb into the need of knowing everything of what I'm being called into. Why, how, when, what, who, where? These are my favourite 5 Ws, probing for details. Yes, I'm a big fan for details.

But through recent happenings (er, ranging from one & half years ago til now actually) - but a fuller concentration of them within the past month, by the mercy & grace of God I've been taught to take little steps back and breathe - to chill and look up and hopefully see a bigger picture and trust that God will bring me through.

This, I must say is a different part of myself I'm trying to discover, or shall I say develop. Of course, with the past 23 years being a meticulous perfectionist, I thought I was beginning to have a split-personality disorder! Yet with the mighty hand upon my life, I'm still doing okay. Heh. Confused which to be sometimes, surprised I can handle both sides of me in balance ocassionally, and every now and then check with people around me if I'm changing, this also requires me to take a little step back and try to imagine the bigger picture, or better - trust, ah even better - have faith.

*smiles*

What's life without all these adventures? Where's the excitement if you've seen where the staircase is leading, yea?

Backie back, I am!

2006-10-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

Back to home sweet home, I have. :)
The 3-month summer journey has ended. And it sure was good, no, GREAT!

Worked with principal engineers, senior staffs, intimidating & inferior; yet fulfilling and rewarding. Tough & stressful; yet learned a bunch.
Rob & Beth and their dog Sunny, Todd & Christy, Mike, Clint & Latsy and their son Jonny Walker (no kidding!).... of course, their Golden Retriever Max (but I prefer to call him Shadow~), Barry, Max & Stacey, Ben & Kelly, Sheldon & Nancy, David & Naoko, John, ALEX!!!!!; it was sure great time spent. Thank YOU for treating me like family.
Washington, Oregon, California, and Arizona. The whole west coast I've toured, from the evergreen state to the beaver state to the golden state and the grand canyon state. I love 'em all. :) Desserts, hills, mountains, snow, evergreen trees, beautiful beautiful blooms, wide green pastures, farms, beaches, lakes, rivers, little bavarian town, cities, gay community, First starbucks, San Juan Island, San Francisco, Hollywood, Disneyland, national parks, Universal Studio, Capa Lava; I could see Canada from there! And, I almost saw Japan. :p Toes burried in the sands of the pacific ocean, clear open skies, huge cactuses, meerkats, alpacos, illamas, cows, pigs & sheep. The 4th of July, celebration of the great American Independence. Fireworks!!!!
The cool weather, the sunny weekends, the dessert heat, the gloomy rainy last few days; as if they were bidding us farewell.
Shopping oh... the shopping spree weekend. CRAZY! My first live soccer match; Yes it was Real Madrid, American Football; I like! Boardgames, scrabbles, crosswords, Boggles. Rented DVDs! SO many outdoor BBQs in the summer! Don't forget the crazy driving & the speeding ticket! The Puyallup state fair; owh... Funnel Cake & Strawberry shortcakes, LOTS of cheesssssseeeeeeeee, chips & crackers, DIPS! Beth's waffles, Nancy's pie, Latsi's dessert. All the homemade BBQ steaks, Owh, I'd give credit to Alex's pastas too. :) BREADDDDDDDDDSSSSSS! (Yes, bread!) Always with Krisy Kreme doughnuts when I drop by DuPont office. They get fat because of this small Asian girl. >:) Thank you DuPont's chinese super buffet, I enjoy a taste of home with you. Ben & Jerry, Red Robin, Applebees, Macaroni Grill; when are you coming to Malaysia? *grin
Yummy Japanese cuisine & lots of Thais; yet I remembered the crave for rendang & Nasi Lemak. Remember the drive to Portland and we all just couldn't stop listing what we missed!?! Heh! Malay Satay Hut Malaysian Restaurant up in Seattle to save the crave, 50USD steak at El Gauchos, Alex's parents' cooking, yes... their hospitality, warmth & friendliness. I'm sorry Pushkin died.
Mojitos, coctails, Mike's hard lemonade, Irish bar, Mediterranean belly-dancing bar, Engine House 9, Alcohol rash; err.. twice for that.
Alex's warm & cozy neighbourhood.... And his neighbour who's always working on her yard... Suzzanne.. how can I forget the friendly chatty lady. *smiles*

Funny that I visited so many famous & amazing places but what I remember & treasure from the trip most is ordinary hangouts but with terrific, wonderful, great & extraordinary people.

America, a land of dreams...... because of the hearts that live there.
(No wonder I cried so much when I saw The World Trade Center.Heh~)

Thank You God, for the enriching experience. I shall never forget.

JengJengJeng

2006-06-22T02:16:00.000-07:00

*JengJengJeng* Just 6 more days to go.....

All my bags are packed - err, still packing.
Im ready to go - err no, I'm scared.
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye - I really do hate goodbyes!
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already I'm so lonesome - Flying there alone. :(
I could die - No-lah, won't die, but will be sad.

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me - I know you will :D
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again - Er, just 3 months - la :)
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
I tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Evry place I go,
Ill think of you - YES!
Evry song I sing,
Ill sing for you - YES YES YES!
When I come back,
Ill bring your wedding ring - Er, NO~ :p

Now the time has come to leave you
One more timeLet me kiss you
Then close your eyesIll be on my way
Dream about the days to come - :)
When I wont have to leave alone
About the times, I wont have to say

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Oh oh, I feel like an astronout now. :p I'M SCARED!
I'm sorry if I'll be missing your convocation, but behold I will send a representative. *grin

The sick blue dog

2006-05-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

I don't remember how it's like to be all healthy again. It's been almost 14 days now.
But praise God for healing, I AM so much better compared to last weekend - when I could not do anything but sit and stare at the walls for 2 nights, and not able to eat anything. I thought to myself then, I was dying. Heh...

I've been home for almost a week now; recuperating from the flu virus which spread to my lungs. And since yesterday, I had to work. And before I was able to work, I was thinking of work, and how much I'm lagging behind by just staring at the amount of mails that flood my mailbox. No one to cover for my absence this week. I told my manager over Outlook Messenger this morning, "I think work is consuming so much of me, and I don't know whether it's worth it or not. I've never felt stressed out ever over work, but now I do; not because of my own limits, but because of circumstances." Then, I cried. Drama queen huh.

Yes, work has consumed much of me. Especially in Penang where I don't have many close friends around, I indulge myself to work even after working hours on weekdays. As much as I hate to admit that I'm a workoholic, I found out that I really am. The reason why I fell this sick was because I overworked myself when I first fell sick, pushing myself and dragging myself to work.
I guess I chose to be this.

I ought to set priorities according to my values soon. Balance, I need. Rest, I need too.

Da buzz!

2006-05-24T21:39:00.000-07:00

Lots of buzz about the da Vincci code lately. I have not watch the movie, nor have I read the book. But I know very well that the book written by the oh-so-popular author is blesphemy.

Recently also, my only Christian colleague in our team of 50+ sent out emails (one in chinese, and later another in english) entitled "20 big lies in da Vincci code". I always see him as a very bold defender of our faith, actually. But him sending out 2 e-mails regarding this is somewhat provoking anger if not irritation amongst the colleagues. I was sitting at the cafeteria table today, with 8 other guys; and all of them were complaining why my Christian colleague is making such a big deal about the show, and even said, "It's just a show!". I sat there quietly listening to them, hoping to make out how exactly they felt about the show. Turn out, they dont believe in what crap Brown wrote. One big relief.

On the other hand, they were more upset at how we Christians are so worked out by this movie, and said "What's wrong if Jesus DID get married?"
I had my cross around my necklace (so it was obvious), and told gently to the colleague sitting beside and infront of me, "I'm worked out because it's against something I truly believe in, and I understand it's fiction, but Brown did write in the first page of his book what I claim is real and the truth." "Will you be uncomfortable too, if some guy published a book saying Buddha is married and has a daughter?"

I said "It's blesphemy to my God."
I think, some people do not know that Jesus is our God! or, do they?

A thought to ponder though, are we over-reacting by sending out mass mails trying to explain ourselves? There's pros and cons I think, for some people who believed in the story the mails might be of good use.

Well, at least we did not have riots and burn flags infront of embassies! :p

I am thankful.

2006-05-11T03:41:00.001-07:00

A time of reflection; as I quieten my heart, circumstances fade away.... Thankfulness arise. Praises to glorify Him for His goodness, His grace & His mercy. I am thankful....

· that God is a loving God; I can fall into His loving arms like a child calling Him Daddy.
· for my dearest. That he is always here for me whenever I needed; through thick and thin, especially this past year of many struggles. I am thankful our relationship grew stronger despite the distance.
· for a sweet angel who always (ALWAYS!) lets me pour out, lets me speak my heart out and always there to advise & comfort me (even when she's facing her share of difficulties.) I only wish that I'm as a friend to her that she is to me.
· for a generous & sensitive friend who offers more than a shelter; a comfortable home (not just a house) to stay in & a warm hospitable family.
· for many caring, helpful & thoughtful friends who make life more beautiful than it already is.
· hardships and struggles made a stronger (not a bitter) person.
· I am more independent now; I am growing up!
· for the great working place, peers & bosses, opportunities and my ability at work.
· for all that I am, all that I'm made of.
· for the ability to be optimistic despite the valleys. God's joy & hope it is ei!
· for little (& big) events that keeps my excitements up.

Despite the fact that I do question my situation (and cry about life's circumstances sometimes), I am still thankful for I know.... all these are little stepping stones for something the creator has installed ahead. And what more, when Papa is guiding & holding my hands tight as I walk. :)

A God-fearing man, A God-honouring man.

2006-05-08T05:07:00.000-07:00

Mr. Pat Gelsinger - Intel Corp.'s Seniore VP. :)

My manager (an American but muslim) decided to lend me Pat's "Balancing your Family, Faith & Work" to 'encourage' me to consider part-time masters (instead of quiting my job for 1-year full-time.). To my surprise, as I read his short biography at the back cover, "....Pat also serves as an elder and regular Bible study instructor in His church..." :O Wah.... sudden excitement filled me, then I turned the pages for a quick browse (can't start reading at work!); it's a book of endless testimonies & quoted scriptures! Wow, it got me more excited, and I read more.... Heh. I was very impressed with his LONG "personal mission statement." (salute!)

A little background: Pat grew up as a farm boy; started in Intel as only a technician, did his bachelors and masters part time (Ouh... this is the part where my manager thought would speak to me....). "I am a Christian. As a born-again believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, my faith is at the foundation of who I am, what I stand for, what I dream of accomplishing, and what I desire to become as a man."
"My greatest joy would be that through my testimony you also might choose to trust and serve the risen Saviour, Jesus Christ."

I'm excited to read the book. I know I will have lots to learn from His stands & values and how he 'applies' the bible & God in every area of His life.
(I love my VP. :p) Write more when I'm done with the book, I'm sure I'll have lots to share!

I'm feeling.........

2006-05-05T03:23:00.000-07:00

Sad: I can't talk properly. Neither can I eat properly.
The pain on my nose is going off - can barely feel any pain anymore.
But my lip..... *sobs* It's getting more and more painful. The wound on the lip caused by the impact against my teeth is deepening? So painful at times I can feel tears in my eyes. :(
I hope it gets better soon.

Lazy: I'm going to be very lazy this weekend but hoping to get some extra work done. Some of them are trying to make plans (err... hiking, Christian bookstore hopping marathon, movie,.....). I think I'll tag along a bit. :)

Mixed - scared & excited: I've just been assigned into a high-profile project (company's 2 generation ahead's architecture) & to work on a new methodology to define some new stuffs.... Two major items in the team's milestone this year. Frankly speaking, I'm scared (I was excited at first)! How can 'they' have such high confidence in me? Feel so pressured (even before the work starts) by their expectations now. Don't know what I have to offer!
Blessed: Nothing I've done (esp performance at work) is of my own... it has been God's grace & favour all the way. *am unworthy yet am blessed*

Happy: The daily endless laughters I'm getting from dear lately! Get Joash to call you in chipmunk voice if you need a good laugh! (It's a new feature for DiGi subscribers.)

Eeee...... Told you I'm getting more and more whacky! How does someone feel so many contradictary feelings all together at once? *pengsan*

Oh no!!!

2006-05-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

I've become more and more hyper and whacky lately.
What happened to the quiet and shy me?

I think I need to tone down a little before I get out of control!

The east coast

2006-05-02T04:32:00.000-07:00

Cherating
Swiss Garden Beach Resort was a nice peaceful & quiet getaway. :) So relaxing that I slept for ~2 hours on a rest chair by the beach!
Note: I'm now even more traumatized and more afraid of water after the Langkawi trip (where I fell into the lake twice :-S). Sobs, I didn't even dare go into the pool.

Kuantan
Enjoyed spending time with dear's family - so hospitable that I felt right at home.

I enjoyed very much my long (4-day) weekend at the east coast! Let's do it again soon~

On a more dramatic note, on my way back from KL to Penang, I took an express bus. I sat right behind the bus driver on the first row. Happily, I sat crossed-legged (the malay style) & crossed-armed while we passed the Penang bridge toll. The bus was going pretty fast (say ~90km/hr) and low and behold, the driver suddenly hit the brakes, and off I fell off my seat and my face was smacked against the board infront of me! Ouch! :( So painful.... I thank God that despite my bleeding lip & bruised nose, I had no other injury. After I got back to my seat, I checked a few times if my nose was bleeding because the impact had caused such excruciating pain, I thought my nose broke.
I thank God I was not sitting at the other side of the first row, else I might have flew out of the windscreen!
My colleagues said my face looks a little swollen today - despite the sympathy they had on me, they still laughed out loud. My lip is no longer bleeding but is painful when I eat and my nose is still painful!

OK, I've learnt my lesson. Here's sharing so that you'll not do the same too. :p

I miss them, a lot!

2006-04-26T04:20:00.000-07:00

I hope & pray that my not-so-quiet angels are all doing good! :)

Langkawi kodak moments :)

2006-04-25T04:16:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, see my new super short hairstyle?

Human nature?

2006-04-23T17:22:00.000-07:00

I think the worst feeling ever is rejection.
With rejection comes hurt, bitterness, insecurity and unbelongness.

I think the worst feeling is also when you become a lamp post or third wheel.
You just wish you'd dissapear away. It sucks, I know.

It is a human nature to want to feel belong and wanted; because we're made to fit into a community/family - not stand-alone.

I sure hope I've never made anyone felt rejected or like a lamp post before.

Edited

2006-04-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

Due to overwhelming responses for the Phuket trip, Joash & I have decided that those interested to join - do plan for your own trip (because we have not planned for ours yet!), and we can meet up in Phuket along the way?
Our plan is (we don't have a plan!) to just go there and hang around by the beaches - might not be suitable if you want to explore the island/visit all the tourist attraction places (cos we've done that before...). Sorries.

What's up? Blessings!

2006-04-19T04:34:00.000-07:00

Unexpected opportunities; surprises!

I'll be attending 2 short summer courses here; which costs USD 2k and will be fully sponsored for. Blessed.

Work has been quite demanding these days, with 4 projects at hand, I practically have to "multitask"; switching my brain from one project to another in parallel. I'm handling it okay, I hope. The thing I fear most is that I am not fully focused in one projet, that I might miss out fine details I want in the design.
On the other hand, I'm still having lots of laughter and fun during meals with colleagues. I think without this bunch of wackoes, I'll be overstressed out! Blessed with a fun team & good managers. :)
I'm looking forward to a nice weekend with colleagues at Langkawi!

Go check out Air Asia tickets pricing - CHEAP CHEAP! Joash & I bought return tickets to Phuket (yes, we're going there agian.... I love that place too much) for only RM170 per pax (ticket price is RM40, the rest are tax & surcharge)! And yes, anyone is free to join us for a week at the sun, sea & sand during the Deepavali cum Raya break in October; we'll be going to Phi-Phi as well then.

Owh, our PG ex-cfers fellowship group is growing! yippies~ Let's welcome Kevin Tang into the family! :) By July this year, we'll have additional 3 - Su Yin, Benny & Kevin.

I almost forgot to mention; God blessed me with a nice place to rent at Mutiara Courts. :) My new home is comfy & comes with fixed-in wardrobe & shelves, fixed-in beds, fixed-in desks, sofa, fixed-in kitchen cabinet, water heaters, fridge, tv cabinet (no tv though :p), a small dining table with chairs, and enough parking lots for all 3 of us. Only thing is that - the master bedroom I'm taking; it has a fixed-in a twin-sized bed. But Bob gave a great suggestion of getting the Ikea's breakfast-on-bed table thus I can work comfortably on my BIG bed! Me likey that idea lots.

Papa provides..... (more than we ask, actually) in His timing!

Random posts

2006-04-17T07:02:00.000-07:00

It was an amazing weekend. Nothing spectacular; but an extraordinary 2 days spent with good friends. I can only thank God for beautiful friendship; friendship borned on this island and also friendships which grew unexpectedly since last year's mission trip.
And now, I could only hope for my angel to come by more often for more extraordinary weekends? *winks. Thanks girl, was such great time spent lazing and talking like time has no end. :)

I had a hair cut! :o It's really short now, but I'm liking it more and more. Heh... Didn't mean to have this haircut; there was a lost in translation due to my poor mandarin. Think Jani was shocked when he saw me at the airport - who's this 'lil short-haired girl carrying a big white sign "Lookie here, Jani!"

Should I go to Kuantan next weekend? or should I hang around on the island for the weekend? Jani's already making noise that I won't be around for his last weekend here. Hmmm.......

P/s: I'm on a diet. Planning to do some exercise soon! Encourage me will ya? :p

WwwwhhHHHhheeEEeeeee?

2006-04-14T06:09:00.000-07:00

After spending 2 very long weekends in Klang/KL (good break & awesome time spent back home!), I'll be spending the next 3 weekends here. I've shifted to a new room in a friend's house. Thank You muchie, my host. I'm forever grateful. :) It's big and comfy.

I likey.

This weekend, I'll be very occupied. We have PDC family day tomorrow whereby my team is requested to set up a booth for a demo of our charter/work (all the depts in PDC are required to set-up one) to the family members/visitors. It's gona be fun; the anniversary organizing committee has done so well last night and I'm foreseeing an enjoyable tomorrow. There has been lots of publicity of great (&free) food, games & activities for the young & old! Then, there's EASTER celebration! :) Plus, I've got to meet up with ex-landlady & future-landlady to settle some house stuffs.... :-S Thanks, superman & tehka for accompanying me allllll the way. BLESSED.=) Not to forget, Jani will be arriving on Sunday. It's been 4 months since he went back to US? Missie him....... God is sending me an angel (she's on her way, in the bus now) to accompany me this weekend. WwwhhHHHhhheeeEEeeee~

Next weekend, we're bringing the American to Langkawi. Ironically, it'll be my first trip there too. Heh... Another american did the recommendations of where to go in Langkawi (He's more expert than all of us? So the memalukan!)

The weekend after that, we're still tour guiding the American around (and another counterpart will be joining then..)

Questions for the day; single-size or twin-size bed? Straight or curly hair?
[Mind you, girl engineers dont think about performance & cost only - lah, we can be as vain as any other girls too sometimes]

Happy 15th Birthday PDC!

2006-04-14T00:12:00.000-07:00

My colleagues (package electrical team). Missing: AJ & CA.

The long weekend has passed

2006-04-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

There is much to write. It has been long (relatively) since I last blogged. It's been a past eventful week for me, as I came back to KL (I'm writing this from LCCT, KLIA now) last Thursday night. I HAD been waiting for this trip back; as I've planned it since I-can't-remember-when!
I didn't have to take any leave (not that I have many to spare) since my nice-and-more-than-understanding manager allowed me to 'Work From Home' on Friday, Monday & Tuesday.
It was a good time spent with family (especially with my mom) since I was home during working hours. It's nice to once again have breakfasts & lunches & dinners with mom on the weekdays. (Of course, it's nice for the tummy as well.) It somehow felt like (and reminded me of) schooling days where mom would get up early to prepare breakfast, and we'd have home-cooked lunches/dinners at the dining table together. :)

The weekend was spent at Bukit Tinggi with close friends. I've never felt this comfortable with friends for quite some time now. I remember telling Joash just a few weeks back that; I've somehow changed and that I no longer really "enjoy" time spent with friends. God showed me otherwise last weekend. I was at such ease and comfort with the angels (VERY loud angels :p). It is through them that I remember myself - my old self (except that I am usually exceptionally loud when I'm with them - dunno why). Ironic to say, I miss myself. I guess people will say that it's the fellowship and friendship that I miss back here. Is that why I'm struggling to find myself a close group of friends in Penang - that I miss the people back here too much? or that I'm not willing to try harder to fit in in Penang? I give myself an excuse - TIRED.

It was such joy to meet back so many people I love here. The Easter Event was what I looked forward to since the beginning of the year when I heard about it. It was the main reason why I requested for Work From Home.
I don't remember when I last hugged so many people in one night! And ahah, supper! Gosh, I've never had supper since I left CF after graduating last May. Sad? Kinda - it's part and parcel of working life I suppose.

So much memories reminisced as I spent my night at Lin & Yin's (that is, my old house). Everything looked familiar and staying there reminded me of my life back in Cyber.

I miss campus life. I miss my family. I miss my friends.

Owh, I'm sure glad that God doesn't get TIRED of me and always go the extra mile to reach out for me.
I am reminded of something a good friend told me once, "You're a very persistent person, aren't you?" I know I was. Am I still? Has life taken a toll on me, and I'm giving in to it? I hope not. I'm trying, I still am..... in my own way and at my own pace.

Wassup?!

2006-03-14T05:39:00.000-08:00

I have about 4 7/8am meetings per week. Cross-site meetings with US. Brain's not awake sometimes. Sharing on the bridge isn't the thing I love most about my work, infact I dread presenting. But I am... I am in love with my job. All glory be to God for making me good in what I do.

Work's good. Busy, but good. :) I'm happy at work. Very very happy with the crazy bunch of colleagues. In fact, we're getting crazier by the minute. So blessed.

Chats at night with friends from uni always amaze me with how much God can use people to touch me. It is through them that I truly believe that God loves me more than I can imagine. He sends just the right people, at the right time. Thanks Kath, for the great eagle story tonight! *winks

I'm hopeful. Though things aren't smoothest right now, I'm still hopeful (and yes, this is from deep down.) People say I have amazing strength... but this strength is from above, it's not mine at all.

.......the LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

I'm happy. Despite the fact that I'm staying in the whole apartment alone and will be, for the next 2 months, I'll do good. Thanks friends, for the endless support/care & thanks dear, for the regular trips up north.

I am counting my blessings. I am, I really am.

p/s: my writings will sound weird to you if you don't follow closely what I go through, sorry.

Home is where your heart is!

2006-03-13T05:24:00.000-08:00

It's not too late to blog this, I hope.

1 out of 15 photographs I put up in frames in my bedroom in Penang; myself with Su Lin, Su Yin & their Siau Sakua/Ta Sakua (soft toys' names!). I had the opportunity to spend half of last Saturday with them and Benny. It was nice. We didn't do anything exciting or so-call "fun". We had a deliciously yummie lunch with their mom and went around town to buy Yin's friends' orders. But I felt so nice and comfortable with them. It was like uni time. In fact, it was so comfortable that I fell asleep on Su Lin's bed after our 'colouring' session. :) I felt so at home with them.

I missed both of them so much. I miss walking just a few steps to their room to chat and laugh.
I sure miss them a whole lot! They're the bestest/sweetest housemates anyone can have! :)

Hopefully I'll be able to get a unit near their place this coming June, then we'll be neighours! WhhheeeEEeeee~

Home is where my heart is, and my heart is with my loved ones. :)

In humility I ask...

2006-03-13T05:18:00.000-08:00

Have I forgotten how it is like to leap with pure Joy?

Have I forgotten how God's peace felt like?

Have I forgotten how assuring and comfortable it is to be in the Lord's arms?

Have I forgotten my Lord, my Jesus, my comforter, my tower of refuge, my loving Father?

Have I?

Have I?

2006-03-12T05:03:00.000-08:00

Have I forgotten how it is like to love with God's love?

"Standing on the promises"

2006-03-11T04:33:00.000-08:00

Don't put your life on hold while you wait on the Lord. You can be fulfilling God's plan this very minute.
"Be very careful then, how you live - not as unwaise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil... Serve wholeheartedly... because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does." (Ephesians 5:15-16, 6:7-8)

Adapted from Pg. 30 of Susan Huey Wales' Standing on the Promises. That was the first sentence I read which caught my eyes as I flip opened the book at Popular's book fair at Gurney Plaza. I was there alone, while waiting for my fellow colleagues.

I flipped to another section of the book and this is what I read next;

"Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God." (Mathew 4:4)

It pierced straight into my heart, and I could feel His presence with me.
I grabbed the book and headed straight for the cashier counter. I was convicted that I will be blessed by this reading I'm committing myself into.

More sharings next as I indulge myself in her writings.

Missie missie!

2006-03-08T06:20:00.000-08:00

I miss the juniors in CF so MUCH!
As I blog hop & chat with some, I miss them even more.

I'm so encouraged and blessed by their life stories; and marvel at how much they've grown and are growing. Everyone of them has taught me something; through their life testimony, their serving & sacrifices, their perseverance & faith, their love for people around them, their passion for God & His people; I thank God for them. And I praise God for His great works in their lives.

It seems like only yesterday they were in Beta.... and now, most of them are graduating this coming May. Time does fly huh!

Ah yes, I'm planning to go back KL on April 1st and will stay through and fly back to Penang on April 5th. Yes, I'll be in Cyber on April 4th, specially for the Easter Event. :D [That's if my boss allow me to work from home on Mon & Tues, heh~]

I miss them so so so so very much. I feel like hugging all of them......now (Ok-la, I can wait another month)! Heh~

.g.r.a.c.e.

2006-03-07T06:40:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 3:5,6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Psalm 33: 18 "But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love..."

:) Today, I took a step back to TRY see the bigger picture. I can't. My mind is too small (and I am too overwhelmed by emotions still, heh). But I reflected back to the life I've lived..... God made those paths. He gave, guided, blessed & cared in abundance. And our God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I do not know the plans are ahead of me, but I do know that my Papa up above is watching me.... and even as I struggle, my steps are guided unconsciously. His grace and love is already upon me, so now I just have to do my part and give my fullest and bestest; to trust and to love. It's not easy I know. I'll once in a while stumble and fall into emo state again.... but I'll just have to keep on trying! (Besides, I'm blessed with many people whom I know will definitely spur me on if I do fall! :p) And I know I'll look back one day, and say "It was God who made my paths then. It was Him who made all things possible."

Also, I read a bit of Job last night... and boy, did it shoke me out of my ungrateful self or what!

Hey you all, thanks so much. For all the support, the chats, the advices, the prayers and concern. I am reminded of God's love through you peeps. :) *touched*

Hints... I don't like.

2006-03-06T03:20:00.000-08:00

I came back to Penang this morning with a heavy heart. Leaving my house (& mom at the gate) at 5am doesn't help at all. Throughout the whole journey from Klang to KLIA, I was as silent as the lamb. I had nothing to say, but had tonnes of thoughts in mind. A few minutes on the road, and I missed home already. I can't help but kept thinking whether my decision to leave home (my family) for Penang is right.

My apologies to CK too, when I met him at the airport; I wasnt the usual chirpy talkative me. I was sleepy, yes but I was more in the solemn mode. And I chose to drown myself in work. Heh, yea I openned up my laptop and started working at the airport and on the plane.

I am okay now. :) I was comforted by His joy and presence once I chose to be thankful.

But, is my decision right? I'll always ponder and I'll always question. I'll always feel sad whenever I leave my mom standing at the gate waving goodbye. I don't know when God will answer me, I wish He'd tell me sooner that what I'm doing is right. Sometimes I want so much for a definite "YES" answer instead of hints here and there. Faith..., I need.

Of a little low in happenings

2006-03-01T02:42:00.000-08:00

I think it's been pretty quite since the weekends. Nothing too new.

I've been reading quite a bit before I head for slumberland; I am in love with the book the girls got for my birthday. But I'm a slow reader... takes me months (at least) to finish a book. I have 2 more new books unread sitting on shelf - both are also gifts! *grin

I think I prefer the movies. Heh. Speaking of which, I've watched everything (every type of show I watch that is) screening in the cinemas in Penang; owps..... except Casanova - this one's reserved to watch with dear. My colleagues are movies addicts! I enjoy watching movie with the bunch a lot; and we go for movies at least once a week - Tuesdays normally, to get the RM6 promotion at BJC. I laughed my lungs out at Pink Panther yesterday. 2 thumbs-up for Steve Martin!!!!
I've got a list of 3 dvd's to get, and they're all comedies - Fun with Dick & Jane, Keeping Mum and Pink Panther. I think ever since I started working, I enjoy and appreciate comedies more than I ever did! Perhaps its the influence from my whacky bunch of colleagues! :)
One of them commented, "I think you've changed-la; at least as compared to the first few months you were here... now, you're no longer as serious but became 'siao' like us!"
*smiles* But hey, I always have a 'siao' side what!

Who says Intel is a pressure cooker huh! Blek~

It was perfect!

2006-02-26T01:39:00.000-08:00

It was my best getaway ever. :) Everything was slow & still.... so relaxing and peaceful. It was a great time spent together; all the more while we're face to face with God's beautiful creation. It was P.E.R.F.E.C.T!

Let's go to Mutiara Pedu Lake Resort again soon!

s.t.r.e.s.s?

2006-02-20T15:18:00.000-08:00

"A mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health, usually characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability, and depression.
A stimulus or circumstance causing such a condition."

I think I may be under stress unconsciously. Hmmm....
Not that I feel it when I'm awake, only when I'm asleep I 'dream' about projects dues and meetings and I feel stressed out in my sleep/dream - causing me to be wide awake in the middle of the night! And it's been going on for a few nights now....

Nonetheless I've applied for leave on Friday to take my mind off work. I just hope spending a day at the beach drawing/reading will help~
I think this weekend's gateaway to Pedu Lake came just at the right time.

It's JULY!

2006-02-20T03:00:00.000-08:00

It's confirmed. :) and it's approved.

2 of us will be setting foot in the United States of America for ~3 months this coming July. We'll be sharing hotel rooms and a car there to fully utilize the budget; to prolong our trip there.
Our matrix manager in US (currently here in Penang) will help us plan & optimize our travel there. We'll be "adopted" by a manager in US (most probably in the hot oven of Arizona) for ~a month or more where we'll work (and indirectly learn) with our host manager's team.
Then we'll proceed to Folsom in Carlifornia to meet up with some of our other counterparts there to pick up some new technology (for how long I don't know....). Next stop at Oregon where we'll spend ~2/3 weeks meeting up counterparts and finally at Dupont in Washington where we'll spend another 2/3 weeks meeting other counterparts.

Yes, our team is scattered all over the states! The ang moh in Penang now asked us to also get ready a Canada visa for the weekends! *grin~ WhhheeeEEEeeeee! (You see, Washington is just at the US/Canada border.)

Looking forward for this trip - not just the fun part of venturing the many places, but also very excited to meet our counterparts whom we work with from Penang. Anticipating much learning from them as well! This will be a very important trip - lots of networking (& face to face) and building relationships with people whom we worked with and will work more with in the future.

Blessed. Thank You, Pa!

Rest & Relax

2006-02-19T04:52:00.000-08:00

A quiet weekend with plenty of time to do things I never had the time to.

Sleep! Hehe~
Watch chinese drama - tsk my sis did not give me the last episode's cd! *suspense*
Read a book - a very good book the girls got for me; Max Lucado's "When God whipsers your name".
Sketch/draw with new color pencils I bought weeks ago.

:) Nice. I'm rejuvenated and ready for work tomorrow!

House scouting!

2006-02-19T04:20:00.000-08:00

I'm currently looking for an apartment/town house to shift to this coming mid-May/June as my contract ends then.

So far, it hasn't been too positive; perhaps I'm being too fussy.

I want a place that's:
Not too congested, not too far - ~15-20 mins from work & church, not too small - ~800 square feet or more, not too expensive - less than RM800 per month and with good security & parking.
Is that too hard to find? *grin. But I do have a few places in mind - Lavinia, Sun Rise, Springfield & Mutiara Courts.
I have established a network of agents and people to help me find, hopefully I'll get some good news soon! :) But meanwhile, I can't help being anxious about it.

But I know Pa has just the right place for me. *winks

Good time spent.

2006-02-17T22:12:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 1pm today! Heh. It's a beautiful peaceful quiet Saturday, here in Villa Emas. Well, it's not that quiet, as there's the voices of the children playing at the water slides & pool downstairs & Pachelbel playing from my laptop. But I always liked the childrens' laughter and voices filled with excitement on a weekend.
It'll be a quiet (no-plan) this weekend, I plan to rest and catch up on things that I loved to do.

On Thursday night, a few grads from CF in Penang decided to come together for a nice dinner at Fish & Co. We had an acceptional group of 5 (will be 7 if Grace was not unwell, and if Adrian was not in US) - Alex, Bob, Kevin, Nick and myself. It was nice talking and laughing with them again. Made me realise how much I missed CF. I thank God for these brothers (and a sister :>) I have here in Penang. :)

On Friday night, my colleagues & I decided to hang out together after work. So we went for a movie (and since I've watched most of the movies shown), we watched "Keeping mums". 2-thumbs up for the show! Rowan Atkinson plays a preacher a small village - and the story revolves around his family. I shall not reveal too much, but it's definitely a one-of-a-kind show; a nice mix of thriller and comedy! GO WATCH!!!!!
It was a good time spent outside office, we laughed and laughed until our jaws at the verge of falling out, at dinner, supper and the movie itself!

Good time spent. :) Thanks, Pa for friends I have here. *Thankful*

Happy Valentine's!

2006-02-14T04:56:00.000-08:00

A lovey-dovey day ei? Not so for me... stuck 300 kms away from somebody.
But I had my share of V-day the weekend before. :) Was sweet dear, thanks for the 55cmx40cm card & the smiley-soft-toy flower! Sorry the picnic didn't work out.
You see, it was raining cats & dogs.

It was still a good day though - Attended a good class and was pretty fruitful at work as well. I just came back from dinner with a group of guys with gfs in KL. Haha~ It was nice catching up with them (got real close to them during internship last year).

...and these shall remain; faith, hope & love. L.O.V.E!

P/s: Thank You, Papa for protecting my drive to & fro work today! :)

phobic!

2006-02-12T18:34:00.000-08:00

I had 2 car accidents this week. By God's grace and protection, I'm alright. :)

Having involved with more projects in the states have caused more 7am meetings (3 out of 5 days). I don't like driving in the dark, especially early in the morning when I'm not too alert or when I had to rush for time.

The first one, I kissed another car's back at 6.45am at the FTZ gate. Turned out to be a friend I haven't seen for ages. What a way for a reunion? People say it's a "good luck in a misfortunate". I say it's God's grace. It was my first accident, and I really THANK GOD it was someone I knew. Else I could have been MORE traumatized than I already am. However, I'm RM 350 poorer this month. A good (& expensive) lesson learnt - keep your eyes on the road at all times!

The second, tyre punctured for NO apparent reason. Good thing Joash was around. :) Went to the tyre shop riding on the temp tyre, it appears that the tyre just flattened with no marks/holes on the tyre - some itchy hand let out the air!

Now, I'm phobic. I feel unsafe on the road in my car - whether or not I'm driving.
I hope it cures soon cos I'm not comfortable with this pessimistic feeling!

I hope I don't have to drive in US later. :(

I should be an Engineering major?

2006-02-07T02:10:00.000-08:00

You scored as Engineering. You should be an Engineering major!

Engineering

100%

Philosophy

92%

Journalism

83%

Art

75%

Mathematics

75%

Chemistry

67%

English

58%

Theater

42%

Linguistics

42%

Dance

33%

Psychology

33%

Sociology

17%

Biology

Anthropology

Thanks, Tehka for the site: What is your Perfect Major?
created with QuizFarm.com

But I am already an engineer! :p I'm in such a right career path. Am I really?

God loves you!

2006-02-06T06:34:00.000-08:00

God loves you. Yes you, the one reading this post!

If God can love me, of course He loves you too. How much? I read once in a postcard that beautifully expressed how much God's love is for you and me. "He loves you this much", Jesus said as his hands were stretched out upon the cross.

I'm not emo, I'm just overwhelmed by God's amazing unbounded love.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

Yes, life and life more abundantly.

hopes and dreams this 2006

2006-02-05T06:39:00.000-08:00

My 9-day break couldn't have been better. (Oh wait, it could have if I did not put on as much weight. :p)

I had 4 to 5 days well-spent at home & with family this cny and another 4 to 5 days well-spent too with Joash. Plus, I got to meet up with the girls for a nice-bloated dinner at Chili's & a sleepover at Szu's.

It was exactly what I needed (Thanks, Pa) after the project rush (which we managed to finish ON time to save our holidays) - for lots of reflection, thinking, planning, sharing and rest. (Yes, rest. Rest from the worries of the world and uncertainties of my future. Heh)

I'm now back on the island, with a different attitude and with much hopes and dreams for this year. No, they're not my new year resolutions. They're just things that I'd like to say I've accomplished at the end of 2006 - my ten-things-I-want-to-accomplish-in-2006 list. I'm really really really excited about it! Sorry I won't reveal them here.. give me a buzz or drop me a mail if u're curious what they are! >:)

Papa, I'm excited with much joy. So much of hopes and dreams you've given me this year. So much to look forward to and opportunities to be used by You.

KAM!

2006-01-25T04:07:00.000-08:00

Just a short post today; I have to get back to work to prepare for tomorrow's project review and technical sharing session before I head to bed early (I intend to). Tomorrow's review is from 7am to 9.30am *big sigh*

I got 6 big mandarin oranges today! :) At ~3pm, suddenly there's a loud commotion (& lots of laugthers) in PG2 Level 2 office. My big boss was giving out oranges for CNY! I was busy rushing to finish my work in time then, thus did not bother to go out to collect my share. 2 colleagues came to my cube and gave me one each; to comfort my pekchik-ness. Suddenly, another colleague came to my cube and said "Boss asked for you." :o I made my way out to the front, crossing several cubes of happy colleagues eating away their oranges, and when Ahmed saw me "Come, you're borned in the year of dog, you get 4 oranges!" :)) How would that American know anything about the chinese zodiac? Haha~ I took my share with a big ear-to-ear smile while people on looking enviously. *blek* JK even peeled one for me! *smiles* Nice colleagues, boss and working environment yeh? *blessed, blessed.*

Hopefully by lunch time tomorrow, this project will be done.

Gong Xi Fa Chai!

2005 Highlights

2006-01-24T04:35:00.000-08:00

I thank God firstly and utmostly, for all the happenings in my life for the past 2005. As I look back, last year was the most eventful year of my life; one involved lots of transitions and moving out of my comfort zone as well as many firsts & success. Looking back, it seemed like I have achieved a lot; but truly, it would not have been so without the Almighty. These are HIS accomplishmets for me, HIS grace and mercy that enables all the below.
My pillar of strength, my comforter, my tower of refuge; Thank YOU PAPA for pouring down so so much.
I appreciate most the relationships built and developed. *smiles*

I name 2005 "Bitter sweet firsts & lasts"

1. Last tuitions of the sem/year to the juniors.
2. Crossroad - deciding whether or not to join back Intel.
3. Completed FYP with a good grade under Dr. TC Chuah.
4. Many visitations to Rumah Trinity & Hope.
5. CF grads farewell.
6. Graduated with a Book Award.
7. Last IF camp in Penang.
8. Vacation with family to Shanghai.
9. Mission trip to Sarawak - drowned.
10. Gotten real close to a bunch of great gals & guys.
11. Convocation.
12. Shifted to Penang.
13. First car & real driving lessons.
14. Started attending a baptist church.
15. Giving tuition at church.
16. First job at Penang Design Center, Intel, first paychek, first tiding, first bonus, first granted company stock.
17. Converted from a graduate trainee to a permanent staff within a month.
18. Made lots of cards for lots of occations, first few baby showers and weddings.
19. Fourth anniversary.
20. Joined the Work Environment Focus Team; put up the club house & decorated the office for deepavali, raya & christmas.
21. First time to karaoke & bars.
22. Q3'05 Teambuilding at Lost World of Tambun
23. Chaired the Q4'05 ETMS/RVP/PAE Teambuilding Planning teamat Grand Plaza Park Royal.
24. Completed 1 product design, supported 1 more, and 1 was then in progress. My first product will be out in the market in 2007!:D
25. Developed and innitiated a bunch of new modeling/analysis methodologies.
26. Great opportunities to work hand-in-hand with Principal Engineers & seniors & counterparts from all across the world.
27. Coached/trained an intern.
28. My first year-end assessment. Results will be out next month!
29. I turned 23. :p
30. PTPTN loan payback exemption.
31. Lots of great time spent with close friends & colleagues.
32. Weekly bible study group/ex-cfmmu meet in Penang!

Looking forward for a greater year this 2006 and may it be in-sync with God's plans for me.
Allow and able me to make you proud of me, PAPA!

Just a thought

2006-01-23T06:14:00.000-08:00

A quick thought came after I posted the previous entry.

How do you tell if your day was good?

My humble definition of 'a good day' is when I have indescribable peace and joy doing things that I needed to (means work :p) throughout the day and at the end of the day I get a sense of fulfillment knowing that I've seized the day and have done all I can with it as well as knowing that I've gotten a little closer to God and have potrayed His grace and love.

Truly today is good, Lord. Thank You =)

How was your day?

2006-01-23T04:38:00.000-08:00

My day was good, yep it was.

It started out with a project excursion review which I had worked on both Friday & Sunday night, the review went well I think. We had to pour in extra money in making our design better - which did not make the people in the review very happy. But I was happy due to the fact that the project is almost (the design part that is) over. I'll let you know when the product is out in the market yas? - That's next year btw. Owh, that's the first project I worked on!

I went for a very good class recommended by our manager - not those typical boring motivational kind; instead it triggers you to think, ponder and challenge to better yourself at work. "New work habits for the next millennium". Sounds pretty cheesy, but surprisingly I enjoyed myself and have learned quite a bit from it. I have the handbook if you're interested~ ;)

Kai yeh treated us for a great lunch at some fancy chinese restaurant, for the new year. We even had 'lou sang' which everyone tossed ganas-ly all over the table. Legend has it that the higher you toss it, the better the year ahead will be? This is my first time tossing it sky high - it was fun! :D
That was the very same restaurant kai yeh treated William and I during our internship! He must like that place a lot...

I finally had my 1:1 after many push-outs. :) I always liked this bi-weekly meet with my manager where we chat a lot; about anything and everything related to work. Today we discussed about my future plans (I shared a whole lot to him of how uncertain I am about my future and that I might leave Intel/Penang soon :p), my interest at work, and my performance. He called me a 'fast trekker'. *smiles*

Then there was the long discussion on how to improve the design (electrically) of a product we're currently enggaged (suffering~ Heh) in. It's pretty difficult to work with the US folks due to the time difference, albeit the conferencing every week. If you ask me, it definitely slows down the efficiency.

That's my day~
I'll spend the rest of the night writing the CNY cards I bought for colleagues and reading a great book the girls bought me.

How was your day?

Because you loved me

2006-01-20T03:20:00.000-08:00

A song I'd like to dedicate people whom I love and adore with all my heart. Angels whom have been there for me, and many a times are my source of inspiration, strength and even hope. God has blessed me with them and they have been one of the most precious gifts from above.
To you SO beautiful people; Joash :x, Kath, Szu Li, Jane'nette, Siew Yee, Leona, Kevin, Chris, Pei Hsien, Adrian & Su Lin, this song is for you.

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Sun, sea, sand & us @ Phuket!

2006-01-19T03:00:00.000-08:00

Sawadeekap! DiGi's Radio Network Planning Team decided to head for Phuket to celebrate Zul's big bash. It was overall a fruitful, enjoyable & fun trip! Thanks so much for the great organizing and planning ya all.
We.... ate lots of seafood & tom yam, shopped at Andaman Bazaar & Bangla Road, island hopped & snorkled around Phi Phi islands, went around Phuket island for sight see-ing on a chartered van, watched a monkey show, visited the cashew nuts & pearl house, relaxed & sun bathed & played water & made a tak-jadi sand castle at Patong beach, played water polo in the pool, & had so much fun in between!
Now you understand why I said the trip was fruitful? *winks

What's on my mind?

2006-01-18T06:32:00.000-08:00

Received emails from Dr. Chuah (my FYP supervisor) yesterday & today. He shared some stuffs which made me realise how seriously I need to plan for my future. He asked some questions which I cannot answer now (and only I can answer, according to him) and He asked me to further my studies. Hmmmm......... how now, brown cow? Also, he asked me if I was interested to come back to uni to give a sharing of how it's like to be in the industry now (some talk the MMU Alumni is organizing)... I said I'd be glad to!
Lots of thinking..... about things I want to do, and where I want to be, and what I want in life. Thinking about what God has installed for me too. Thinking of my family back home!
So-so-so-so-so-so miss the girls. Jealousnya~ Joash had a whole day out with most of them; some sort of him substituting my presence? I'm looking forward (super duper excitedly) for our next meet-up. CNY right? :x *tripple wheee~*
In pulun/pekchik mode at office lately; especially after the long vacation I took. After Monday I'll be free of projects (yeays~) but will be busy attending classes (enrolled in Intel U) and be spending time learning as much as possible from our counterpart who'll be here for a month or so starting tomorrow.
"God's mercy and grace", a good friend's theme - It's new every morning & comes in abundance! Blessed.... blessed! "So blessed, I can't contain it", another good friend's theme. Heh~ So blessed by the many people around me whom I look up upon and am learning a lot from. So blessed by their life, their sharings and love.
Receiving undeserving favour upon me, causing me to do well back in school and now at work. It's for Your glory, Lord! It's for You!

Some overdued pics...

2006-01-18T05:44:00.000-08:00

These are some December happenings captured for a memory to last. Have not gotten most of the pics anyways. :( Guess I'll just add on once I get my hands on them!

Phuket pictures up next! *winks ;) (Yes, once I get my hands on them!)

Happening chic?

2006-01-11T07:10:00.000-08:00

So I'm keeping myself busy lately.... keeping myself real occupied with plans & meet-ups. Heh.

We just had a celebration dinner at 'Passage through India' with a bill of RM1200++ for 20 pax. Dinner was good... delicious, and the best part was it's paid for! >:) It was a dinner in celebrating one of our biggest product successfully taped-out. I had the best indian food ever! *grin...
We didn't go to SS because all of us are having 7 or 8am meetings. Sob* I was looking forward to the live band again! Well, we can always go there for the interns' farewell next weekend! On the other hand, as I'm blogging this now, Josh, Esther, Klim and their friends are enjoying themselves there now..... =)

I'll be heading back to KL tomorrow night, and to Phuket the morning after! Boy, I definitely can't wait for the sun, sea, sand and.... (not girls) but shopping!!!!! *double-grin* Excited! My long-awaited holiday is finally just hours away. :) Looking forward to a time of getting to know Joash's colleagues, relaxing, sight-seeing and good shopping. Yeays - szu szu will be going too!

I wonder if keeping myself this occupied and looking forward to exciting events to keep me going in life is healthy. Perhaps I'll just turn out to be one happening chic in Penang! Haha~

Slowly getting closer to God lately. :) I do miss Him. Thank you all for your prayers and concern. I feel as though I have a lot of serious thinking to do, but at the same time I'm learning to rest them in His palms. I do have peace and joy even in the midst of all these, praise God!

His healing power

2006-01-09T05:36:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how fast I recover from everytime I feel sad like in the previous post.

'Thank you' s for your many prayers. They worked! Every care, thought, mail, call, sms, prayer, hug & love received and kept warmly in my heart. :) God shows me His love through all you angels!

I know it is God's spirit touching mine everytime I needed it. He has not left me, I know. It is God's healing and comfort that lifts up this burden.... everytime I feel like giving up, He's there. Every tear drop jarred.
But I yearn to hear Him once again; even if it's just a soft whisper.

The holy spirit has somehow prompted me to stay on; to not give up the good fight. To not stop running the race.... well, I might be crawling now, but I won't give up. Staying here means putting in serious effort in making Penang my home (and not living by the moment anymore!)! I need to do some serious planning..... Heh~

Papa, I need you. I know You're carrying me in Your loving arms. I'm struggling, but I know You will not let go of me. I'm privileged, Lord..... I am. You bleed your arm, just to hold me in them.

Decisions.... decisions....

2006-01-08T05:22:00.000-08:00

Should I go back to KL?

A good friend says "being away from loved ones makes you cherish them more."

:) I have a wise good friend.

An emo start?

2006-01-08T04:12:00.000-08:00

December passed so quickly. I think it's my favourite month (also busiest) of the year. But it's the busyness that keeps me going in life. So fast one year has just passed. It has been the most eventful year of my life, I'd say. 2005 has indeed many memories - it has recorded many firsts too. The first half was spent cherishing the last few months in university and the second half was spent embarking a new and challenging fresh start at work; and in the middle of the 2, was a point of crossroad - one where I remember crying and praying hard for God to lead me on, and I guess He did.

This weekend has been one of the very few weekends where I have nothing in plan - but its during these nothing-to-do-nor-go weekends I feel saddest. As I reflect back 2005, I've changed. All the events bring various encounters and challenges - some have beaten the better side of me sad to say. But some, with God's grace and favour have made me a better person.

This weekend, I asked myself if I'm really happy. I'm not. I have left home and familiar ground to be where I am today. I have sacrificed to just be obedient to God's calling but now, I feel as though God has left me (or the other way around). In Penang, I have a job I love and I think my life now revolves around work (&people at work) alone. In a week or so time, the industrial training peeps will go back to school and I'll be all alone again. On purpose I did not plan anything this weekend (with Su Lin or anyone..) so that I'd get used to the idea again. Adrian has left for US. Jen will be back from US soon, and soon Nick will be gone too. Yes, I'll be traveling soon myself... but my point is "Who do I have here in Penang?"

I am upset with God. I really am. I'm sorry I can't help it. He has called me here and I trusted Him. But the thing I need most in my life - He has not provided... people! Yes, I have a great bunch of colleagues but somehow it's just not the same (don't ask me why~).

I miss the fellowship and friendship back in uni.
I miss everyone back home too much.
I have a family back home, but now I feel like an orphan. I have great friends back home, but now I feel so alone.

Move on.....? You tell me how. I tried, I really did.
By the way, I stopped going to church because I'm so darn tired of driving there and back alone.
Will I ever settle down here properly?

Meanwhile, I'll just keep myself occupied with looking forward to exciting meet ups, travels and colleagues get-togethers.

I see 2006 as a year of uncertainty & challenges.
I hope the year ends fast.

p/s: I think I'll recover soon, don't mind me... I don't get this emo very often.

The end and the beginning.

2006-01-03T02:33:00.000-08:00

How did 2005 end?

29th December, 2005

Pulun at work. Heh~ Rushing to finish up a project.
Great get-together with the bible study group. We had a "farewell" dinner for Adrian at a Ikan Bakar place near my apartment. View was the beach facing Pulau Jerejak and the Penang Bridge.
A surprise birthday cake at my place - which the guys came quite unprepared and needed me to provide matches and tissues! :p
Joash Koh's arrival at the island! :)
Rushing to finish up my year-end assessment (we call it FOCAL) write-up and 360 feedback for my peers.

30th December, 2005

I had a driver to fetch me to/fro work! :p
Lunch at a mediterranean restaurant; "Casablanca". Joash got to meet my teammates! :)
Pulun at work. Left office at 4.30pm - work unfinished! >:)
Joash & I went to Gurney Plaza for a movie - Narnia - I loved it! and then dinner at Kim Gary.
Lots of shopping! I even got a knee-length-silk-cheongsam-like dress.

31st December, 2005

Off to Tesco for lunch & groceries shopping.
Took short naps. Oh, so hot; the weather!
Met up with CV's friend, Amy and headed for town for New Year Eve dinner at Revolving Restaurant at City Bayview Hotel. Reached early, decided to go walk around. Snapped lots of pictures. Amy LOVES to take pictures!
CV and John arrived. Went up to the restaurant and started eating. Wow, nice food! :)
Loved the atmosphere.. so decorated for the occasion.
Decided to go down to Slippery Senoritas (it's a salsa restaurant & bar) for dancing since City Bayview does not have any countdown. Well, not that I liked dancing, but I absolutely loved the live band! Cover charge was RM50 inclusive of a drink - I took a Kampai and Joash had a Vodka.
Countdown & HAPPY NEW YEAR! So the happening! (Too happening for me in fact)

How did 2006 begin?

1st December, 2006

Woke up with rashes all over body (allergy to alcohol) but no fever this time!
Met up with Josh, Lincoln, Esther, Daniel Khoo & Ah Harm at Swatow Lane for lunch, then Josh took us to this FABULOUS poh piah laksa stall nearby. Wah! It's to-die for!!!!!
Hang out at 1 stop for Pool (& arcade games) before we departed to Bukit Genting on my Kenari :o and Lincoln's Iswara.
Most scary ride I've ever been on, but the view was..........speechless! Snapped so many pictures.
We had fantastic Thai food - and fellowship was good too. :) So much fun and laugther ei....

2nd December, 2006.

Woke up feeling bad in the stomach. Stomach felt gassy and bit of cramp.
Vomited twice after taking a hot cup of chrysthemum tea & mushroom porridge.
Went to the doc, doctor said mild food poisoning had triggered the vomiting & gastric.
Vomited twice again after taking bread & doctor's medicine.
Got mom super worried, and Joash decided to stay on for another day to take care of the sick dog. Bought medicine from the pharmacy.
Decided not to eat anything anymore. Only pharmacy's medicine & juice will do.

3rd December, 2006

Both Joash and myself on MC. Much better today. No more vomiting but only little cramps. At least I'm able to eat properly now.
Slept so much!!!! - after every medicine intake.

As interesting as it can be, I'm truly happy that I got to spend quality times with Joash. :) Like he said; "We've seen all of each other - through both the bad times and the good times". I think these 5 days has indeed been a roller coaster ride for me!

Thank You, Papa for Your healing power. Thank You, Papa for being by our side through good times and bad times as well.

Random updates

2005-12-28T03:05:00.000-08:00

#1. God can always turn a bad situation around for something good. Crashed plans were turned into something I enjoyed. :)

#2. It was a good time at home. Though didn't do much, but was nice to spend good quality time with mom.

#3. Learned from a good friend that though our days can be hectic and tiring, we can still be chirpy, dandy and perky!

#4. Today was fruitful - though I arrived in pg at 4am, I was not sleepy and still able to accomplish much at work. (Brain was able to function well!)

#5. I'm blessed to be surrounded by funny nice colleagues whom lifts up the working atmosphere very much.

#6. As much as I dislike Santa, I need someone to help me pass Christmas presents to my friends!
Owh, I received a Christmas card (by post!) all the way from KL from Mei Sin. So sweet of her huh~ Hmm.. Looking forward (anticipating.....) to try her heavenly bakings!

#7. No longer feeling b.l.u.e. Thank you, Papa for the rainbow beyond the dark clouds. =)

: b l u e :

2005-12-21T05:14:00.000-08:00

Random thoughts

2005-12-20T03:37:00.000-08:00

#1. What do I want for Christmas? Faith, Hope & Love. I know, I know~ God has already given them to me 2 thousand years ago when Jesus came to earth. I guess I'd like a breakthrough in Faith, & Hope & Love then. :)

#2. Not all plans work out the way you plan them to be. :( I'm a planner - and when my plans dont go the way it's supposed to be, I'm shattered. Sobs. Bye bye, one-week holiday! Need to come back to Penang by Dec 28th for WORK.

#3. The grass is greener on the other side? I know God has already been blessing me more than I deserve. Yes He is. I'm not doubting. But can't help but feeling in need of the things I do not have. Human me!

#4. Friends in need, are friends indeed! "People" say that the people whom you'd want to call when you're down, not cos they can give fantastic advices, but knowing that by just listening to their voices will make you see a bit of sunshine once again; those are your real FRIENDS. Thank You! It's amazing how God uses people to touch and comfort me.

#5. Too many things to think about. Adulthood? Hmm.. Wish I never have to grow up! Haha.. "Yea right!". Over the years, I've developed an ability to distract myself from sadness. When I face an issue or hurt, I am able to distract myself (think or do something else) and recover from that sadness pretty quick! Hmmm... I somehow feel that this is not at all healthy.

#6. Love picks you up when you're down. Sounds cheesy? Think of "love" as these: God's unbounded love. Friend's love and care. A mother's tender and patient love. =)

#7. I'd like to stop at #7 cos number 7 is a so-call perfect number. :p Pray for me and pray with me, that I'll reconnect back with God soon. Lots of things I need to straighten out and go through in my first year here. Let me be like Job, Papa! *grin*

I love the sun!

2005-12-15T15:45:00.000-08:00

Though the rest of the planning team did not believed, but I did! I trusted and relied that my Father in Heaven will hold the rain from pouring down on us. Dark clouds came, but also came strong wind that blew them all away!!!! We had lovely bright sun for our teambuilding on Wednesday. WoooohooooO~ We had exciting physical and challenging mental games plus lunch and dinner buffets at the Grand Plaza Park Royal, Batu Ferringhi's garden and beach. All in all, we had SOOOO much fun & laughters!!! :)
With 7 visitors (big bosses) from US, I had to chair the planning team for our Quarter 4 2005 Teambuilding with much pressure. Heh, much thanks too to my beloved colleagues whom supported and extremely committed and dedicated in making it a success. A success it was! (US bosses even suggested that we should be sent to US to help plan and organize teambuildings there! haha~) *winks~ Praise God!!! Thanks for the great teamwork, guys! But of course, the sun costed all 66 engineers sunburn; so everyone came into the office today with red-coloured face! :p

[Picture below: The planning team + one of our visitors]

Something I can relate to?

2005-12-12T04:16:00.000-08:00

Grew up in a small town
And when the snow would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreamin' of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes
Till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Out of the darkness
And into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Want to feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get on board a fast train
Travel on a jet plane
Far away and break away

Buildings with a hundred floorsS
winging round revolving doors
Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me but
Gotta keep movin’ on movin’ on
Fly away break away

I’ll spread my wings
And I’ll learn how to fly
Though it’s not easy
To tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance make a change
And break away

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance make a change
And break awayBreakaway

Wonderful time spent...

2005-12-11T07:07:00.000-08:00

*smiles*

I had an enjoyable weekend - Thank you Pei Hsien, Su Lin & Joshua for the 'date's.

Thanks for the wonderful time spent, friends. It's good to really catch up, share and laugh together once again. I needed it, really. :)

I shall now go to sleep with a smile on my face..... with gratitude in my heart for the beautiful people God provided here.

SO what!?

2005-12-09T01:20:00.000-08:00

Fed up of pleasing 'certain' people. No matter what you do, they'll always find fault in you. They don't care how much effort you put in or how sincere you are in the friendship, they're more interested in judging everything you do.

SO what if I'm guilty? So what if I'm really innocent?

Enough of trying so hard, enough of crying over things I never did, and enough of feeling guilty.

So I've learned to "dont care" and "buat tak tau" and go on with life.
Nuff said.

Ironic

2005-12-07T05:50:00.000-08:00

Hokkien is my mother tongue, but I can't speak it fluently. Having some difficulty in conversing with colleagues (whom like every other chinese on this island speaks hokkien at all times).
It's hard - I can't find my words and not able to convey what I want to, and I sometimes don't understand what they say (especially when they speak super duper fast).

Have actually told my manager, "CA, You definitely need to send me to language class, I need to learn Hokkien to converse with the layout folks". He replied "You can speak Hokkien what." Hmm... Yeah right!

My paternal grandma is a cantonese, yet I can't speak it fluently either.

Sad case. Ironic isn't it?

Thanks for the time spent!

2005-12-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

=)

"Mean time, I shall just miss you all."
But I shall also clasp my hands in prayer for you angels.

"Already looking forward to our next meet!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FISHIE!

The nature of this blog.

2005-11-29T20:39:00.000-08:00

Yeps, I have time tonight (&mood) for a relatively long post.

And I know people aren't interested in long and draggy post, but heck I'm going to write it anyway; because here's where I express myself, here's where I reflect and ponder upon blessings from above, and here's also where I write my life's ups and downs.... it's my journey - my footprints. But yes, I'm sharing it with you... my life's journey here in the pearl of the orient.

Blessed footprints? Blessed because I'm walking together with the Lord, and every step that I take; through every corner of life, He's with me. What other word could describe this priviledge than the word 'blessed'? :)
I have a mug - from a special piggy; given to me 4 years back for my birthday.... I've been using this mug since then. On it, a beautiful story entitled "Footprints" was written.

"One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to the man and the other to the Lord. When he last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddes times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it, "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Exciting moments - deeper marks/puddles on the sand - jumping up and down (bouncing away)!
Reflective/grateful moments - relatively close set of footprints - while having a slow stroll, relaxing and good chat with the Lord.
Sad or tough moments - one set of footprints - the Lord carrying me through.

Life may be filled with mixture of moments; some people call it a roller coaster ride. Yes it is - ups & downs; infact sometimes sad and tough moments seem to last longer than the other two moments. We may think that we need to face so much tribulations and sufferings (so unfair?); but think of it as how often our God carries us in His arms (instead of letting us walk on our own two feet). That's how much GOD loves us.... so much that He (Abba father; the creater of the universe) personally (with His majestic yet loving arms) carries us until we're ready to walk again. *smiles*
Here's a challenge for us; to remember Him - not only when He's carrying us... but when we're jumping up and down as well! Heh. He only asked for those quiet reflective and grateful moments back in return - our love and obedience.

Father in heaven, *smiles* Thank you God for this priviledge though I never deserved it. Indeed it is your grace that has allowed me to come before you as Your child, and to have You walking with me every path of the way. You are my shepherd; who guides me with much love, care and patience. You are my provider, blessing me in abundance, giving me everything that's best. You are my comforter, for in times of trial and suffering, it is You who carries me through. You are my joy and strength, my peace. And You are my God. You are my all in all. Thank You God. Amen.

Building up, building up!

2005-11-28T21:00:00.000-08:00

The excitement is rising; it's building up.... reaching the roof top! The girls are getting too (I mean TOO) excited about the upcoming BBQ + sleepover this Friday at Kevin/Chris's place.
I am too getting VERY excited about it. In fact, I'm even taking leave on Fri just so that I can be back in time for the not-to-be-missed gathering. We're going to celebrate our beloved Siew Yee's birthday. Yeays~
Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss them all TOO much!

Something else is building up too! The teambuilding planning team are getting more and more excited and having too much laughters during planning.... Mien, how can working in Intel be so fun? *winks ;)

Owh, Office is feeling ALL christmasy now... Great Job, ppl! The decorations are just fan-tas-tic! I'm getting very excited for this year's christmas... I'll be at Kuantan! Blek~

Nuff said. Used 'excited' 5 times in this post. :p

I miss you too!

2005-11-25T11:13:00.000-08:00

Up & well!

2005-11-25T10:15:00.000-08:00

Couldn't move my aching body when I woke up at 7am this morning. Decided to take half day off work, and return to work only in the afternoon.

It's 10 am and I'm feeling all better; ready to go back to work. =)
My GOD is my doctor, my healer, my provider! Heh, I don't even have to go to the doc! Blek~

I could actually take a whole day off work, after all it's Friday and Fridays as usual are filled with meetings and sharing sessions.
But hey, today WEFT has arranged for a movie screening! :) It's a documentary entitled "Paradigm change" - which is pretty good! We committee had a chance to watch it ourselves first.
Besides, after work at 5+, we're putting up Christmas decos all around the office.

Not so looking forward to get back to the SUPER freezy-cold office though. :S By the way, 2 other colleagues of mine fell sick this very week. Bad-bad-bad air-con! I hope the WEFT can voice this out to the 'customer services' & them to take action soon! Bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~!

Thank God for yet another wonderful gathering last night. :) It is amazing how we can relate to every chapter in John we're studying weeks to weeks. How much we can really learn from Jesus (& John the Baptist) and apply it as our lifestyle.
We had a little surprise for Grace whose birthday is this Saturday. Yummie Secret Recipe's baked cheese cake; Thanks Nick! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRACE!

s-a-k-i-t

2005-11-24T19:20:00.000-08:00

Argh. Flu!

What started out as sorethroat (due to massive heaty food consumption for the past week; you name it, I ate it! chocolates, sambal, curry, tomyam, twisties, milo...) then body ache in addition to the SUPER cold temperature at office (If I'd give a guess, it's at least 12 degrees celcius where I sit).

Half day off - decided to come back after lunch, took a panadol and slept all the way from 2pm to 6pm! Yes piggie me~ :p
It feels more alone when u're sick. Trust me, u just want to stay home in bed and not bothered about going to the doc. I feel much better now, *Thank You Daddy :)* sorethroat subsided a bit, body no longer as painful.

Should I go to work tomorrow? :S We have a tight project schedules to meet. Plus, we're putting up Christmas decos tmr after work......... which I've yet to prepareeeeee!!!!!!!!!! :((

Something to look forward for; and I know will make me feel much better - bible study tonight! :D (In fact, I'm waiting for Adrian to bring over dinner - He's always not so err punctual.. hehe~ Thanks Tehka.... for buying me dinner every Thursdays.)

I'm loving it!

2005-11-23T20:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, I survived! Heh. Not as hectic as I thought it'd be... perhaps because I've done some work last Saturday. :">
Now, at least I have time this week to share/teach our intern some stuffs.
Not to mention a wonderful weekend I'm looking forward to, hor Chicuck? :p

Yes! 1 project has officially ended, 1 more - my part is done.... Only 2 projects in hand now! :) Whhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~! Praise God for strength (which definitely came from His joy)~

Wah! looking back, it's been 4 months since I joined the team (& started working). It has been a journey of much learning, and it has been great! Challenging; just the way I like it! Been applying so much of the stuffs I learnt back in uni and am learning deeper the stuffs we learnt in uni too! I'm looking forward to more learnings and sharings ahead.
Days might get hectic & pekchik & unpleasant, butdoesnt stop me from loving it! :p

*smiles* I like my job.........!

I'm working today

2005-11-19T12:45:00.000-08:00

I'm working today - yeaps, that is why they gave us a laptop each; to connect to the company's VPN.

I don't mind it actually (No, not cos I'm a workoholic), but it sort of to compensate yesterday's working hours since I did not (at all) get any work done at office. And if I don't work today, I might mati dihempap kerja next week! heh.
Plus, I don't have any plans for today since tuition at church is off for this month and next as the children are all on school holidays.

I hope I don't get sucked into work too much. After all, I'm still a full-time christian. I should be spending effort and time in that too~

Owh, I've got to also get the layout for the christmas deco & banner done this weekend - for approval next Mon.

Coming up next: I'll share what I've learned at bible study last week once I have the time to blog longer~ :)

Found a site with Mother Teresa's quotes; courtesy from Daniel's blog. Inspiring~!

"Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand."

I can't sing!!!

2005-11-18T02:47:00.001-08:00

I can't sing!!!!!!! Really~ what I sing isn't what people hear - tone deaf?! Well, but that doesn't stop me from having a super blast time at karaoke today!

We decided to go to Red Box, to celebrate 4 Scorpios' birthdays in our team this week. Our manager's wife came too; and even sponsored the cake! :) So nice of her ya~

Despite loaded with tonnes of work (not only myself, but the whole team is feeling the project crunch time this quarter), our team is bonding closer - enjoying each other's presence and having fun at work everyday. Talk about a great place to work, my team definitely is it! :) We laugh so much, that we don't feel the tension of the workloads. (Don't get me wrong, we're still very serious when it comes to work commitment.)

So we spent about 5 hours at Red Box, Gurney - from ~11.30am to 4.30pm. Hahahaaa~ cool huh!
I still can't sing, but I sang (a lot)! :p

:) Thank You God, for giving us this time to enjoy each other's company outside office. Thank You for giving us this time to relax and get our mind of work, after a week of busy busy busy-ness.

What DISNEY character are you most like?

2005-11-16T20:32:00.000-08:00

Bambi

You?

A bee is me!

2005-11-15T09:30:00.000-08:00

I think its some trend in my team that every new hire gets 'targeted' or shall I say bullied until another comes along. Before this it was "no-no", now me. Haih.....

I'm considered an introvert and definitely never try to get attention or the lime light on me! I prefer to sit at the side, laughing and adding a just a bit of salt and pepper to the topic.
However this is not the scenario in my team now. I'm currently the preson being bullied most. I was first given the name "fierce girl".... cos of my look when I'm serious and also my big eyes when I stare at people in disbelieve or shock. Now I have a new nickname... "ba sang pao mui" in cantonese which simply translates as "klang leopard girl".

We all laughed and laughed (myself included) at the jokes and teasings. Today, I came to a point where I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time! Crazy energetic bunch of people, I love 'em..... (not when they're teasing me though!)
Also up today, I've been volunteered (by my beloved colleagues) to chair the off-site teambuilding planning committee for this quarter.
Hmm..... no comments about it now. My team-mates all said we'll be planning this together as a team and will cooperate in making this event a success. I HOPE so too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hmm... where to bring a group of 50+ engineers to?

Sidetrack, I think now I'm more occupied than I could ever be. With 4 projects in parallel (one ending soon, I hope), and with the many miscellaneous I'm engagged in (christmas events & team building), bible study group, and still planning to take leave soon to go back KL for a friend's bday. That aside, we've got lots of birthdays coming up in the office this month (means more celebration plannings), christmas shopping and teaching the church mission team malay songs and children ministry crafts & activities for their OA trip early next month.

Now, I gtg prepare some pink ribbons to decorate a team-mate's cube tmr! Muahaha... it HAS to be pink cos he's a macho guy! >:)

Steph, if you're reading this, HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!! >:D< *Big virtual hug for u* miss you girl.... Have a blessed year ahead; one showered with abundant joy, faith, hope, peace, love and all that's from our Father in Heaven. May you continue to grow with Him and in Him and may everything you do be blessings unto God and men. =)

Jingles all the way!

2005-11-14T19:03:00.001-08:00

Its just 6 months before Christmas, and we're already planning!

Heh. Usually this time of the year back in uni, there'll be much buzz preparing for CF's annual CyberChristmas. This year, though I've already graduated from uni (& CF) and already am working in penang, I still get my share of 'busy-ing' for the upcoming festive season. All this because I'm part of the WEFT committee.

A lil background of WEFT: WEFT stands for Working Environment Focus Team, a committee of about 20 incharged of making our office building (& Intel) a "Great Place to Work". Our past projects include the PG2 Club House, DeepaRaya decorations and now......... Christmas decoration & celebration! :)
How did I get into WEFT? It started when I decided to make my colleague (who just gave birth to a baby girl) a card to congratulate her for her new arrival. My colleagues saw the card, and my 'buddy' who's the WEFT chairperson dragged me into WEFT said I would be "useful".

:) Blessed, blessed! Opportunities, opportunities!!!! Daddy, I'm so excited!

The WEFT Christmas decoration team of 7 met up today to brainstorm ideas on how to decorate the office to make it more 'Christmas-y'. I suggested to hang a real long & big banner all the way from ceiling to floor; telling what Christmas is really about! :) and to my surprise, my idea was accepted! Wow.... I was in amazement at the opportunity at the same time getting too excited, giving ideas after ideas. My colleagues too were getting excited along!

Daddy, I'm amazed!!! You surprise me at how amazingly You plan! How one thing lead to another.... And how You can use my 5 loaves and 2 fishes.

up for something MEGA?

2005-11-11T20:18:00.000-08:00

A few of us from cf mmu decided to start meeting up as a group of brothers and sisters in christ for fellowship a month plus ago. The initial idea was to have a group that we can meet up perhaps once a week (or bi-weekly) to study the word of God. Then some of us felt the need for accountability or perhaps some sharing of how we can apply what we study in our everyday life and where God has placed us - in the workplace. We're all coming from the same family back in MMU. Meeting up together was definitely sure joy for me! I have missed the cf badly ever since i graduated, and meeting up ex cfers in penang, it is a blessing from above.

So yesterday we had our 2nd official meet (despite 2 unofficial ones). We were blessed in our midst, juniors doing industrial training in Penang! Wah... we had an attendance of 7 comparing to our usual 4 or 5. :) I am more than excited there are juniors joining us these 3 months and plan to be hospitable during their stay here. The cf advisor had told me to "take care of the juniors yah". Hehe... pressure leh.

In our first official meet, we all shared something in common; how God had somehow called us to be here in Penang (despite not planning to be here after graduation). I was more than amazed at how God had used different "method"s in doing the same thing - making us come back here! And besides, we all responded very differently to His calling. I reacted bitterly and was struggling to be obedient. Some were more than happy to come back, however others just accepted it obediently. Perhaps it was this commont thing we share that bonds us more closely. The fact that we're all here in Penang obediently following His will. I hope that us following God's calling does not end by just coming here. I pray that I'll be sensitive and courageous enough to continue on walking, for I know God has a long journey planned out ahead of me. I'm excited for it actually! :D Sometimes I can't wait of whats ahead of me. Sometimes I'm so eager to know my life's purpose. But through time (especially after graduation), I've learned to be more patient (with Him :p) trusting and loving Him everyday and even if I have to go through ordinary days (not doing gigantic works for Him), I will still learn and try to purpose my life for Him and bless Him with the ordinary little things I'm capable of doing where I am.

Yesterday I gave a quick sharing: In our workplace where we're exposed to non-believers, we often feel that we're being watched. In certain cases, some non-believers perceive us as human with a hallow above our head and always TRY to be holy and perfect. We then tend to pressure ourselves to act perfect. We're burdened by the fact that we're christians and we have to act like perfect holy-moly beings. I struggled with that burden during my first few weeks at work. I was so conscious of how to act and what I need to do to be "different". I was beginning to burn myself out with my own silly thoughts. A brother then shared that as christians, we do not want to act special and turn people to us. Instead, we want to turn people to Christ in humility. We're just imperfect beings under the grace of God and they can also experience the same grace and love. =) I then realised that it is God who's working, not me! I have to allow God to work through me. And I should not limit God's strength with my strength. God spoke to me then, to release all those burdens and just love Him. And I did just that. When I put in priority Him (and not His work), God started working through me and everything else came so naturally. I was showing people God's love without realising and God opened opportunities so easily! Suddenly one day, my colleague asked "what's easter and christmas all about?" :o :))
I believe that we all need to love God first, and be obedient to Him. As we grow nearer to Christ, we become more Christlike. We cannot pretend to be like Christ before knowing personally who Christ is and how Christ is like!

I'm blessed to be able to go through an ordinary simple life with a job I like. Even if God does not call me into something super mega kengchou, I am contented. I just pray that whatever I do with my life is pleasing unto Him. May I allow Him to work through me, to the fullest......... even if its just blessing people with little acts of love and grace.

purpose it!

2005-11-07T06:51:00.000-08:00

holidays are over, so quickly they pass!

Towards the last few days of the holiday (think it was wednesday onwards), I really did shut my laptop close and kept in the laptop bag until I came back to penang, and opened it only at office today morning! :) - yes, quite a big deal for me. :">

It wasn't easy starting work again; especially after many days of lazing. It wasn't at all easy having to wake up at 6+am again. Dragged both my feet up from my comfy bed and headed for work. On the way to work today, I had a short conversation with Daddy and He reminded me that He is my life's purpose. Wow.... it was powerful... it made think a bit. It wasn't that long when I had peace in my heart and was comforted that wherever I am and whatever I do, I am able to purpose it for God. I can work as for God and not for men, even in my workplace!
These short little chats with God is beginning to miraculously change my day - no erm, it doesn't "make" my day better, just change how I face my days. I like starting my day with spending time with God. :)

Today has been a wonderful blessed day.
Work was okay (though lots of work - this is what u get when u're back from a week of vacation), had simple good chats & laughs with colleagues, bumped into a friend not seen in ages from uni at lunch, yummie fish porridge for lunch, went for a long & fun groceries shopping with Shan after work and had the yummie criss-cut fries from KFC (GO TRY IT!) for dinner, back home for quick laundry and short blogging.

Goodnights world. My bed is calling me~

workoholic?

2005-11-02T17:36:00.000-08:00

I brought my company laptop back, so that I could check my mails once in a while; after all our US counterparts are still working this week (though most of us in the Penang site took a week off). Our counterparts are very aware of us having this week of festive holidays, however them having to work still continue to send mails and meeting agendas.

Looking at the amount of mails and action required (AR), I feel a big burden coming up when I return to Penang this coming Monday. My colleague told me to just shut my laptop and not open it til I'm back in Penang, but I can't help it! Have I becomed a workoholic? Haha~

This break came at the right time; after 2 days of pekchikness rushing to send collaterals to US before our absence from office. I'm never good with last minute work! I prefer consistent work with proper upfront planning. But colleagues tell me that I better get used to the 'last minute' idea - needed not because of bad management or resource planning, but because our company sometimes pull in a project to beat our competitor(s)! Alright, I guess this will make me more flexible and 'go with the flow' albeit my typical 'C' personality which needs details and upfront information.

Oh well, my laptop is opened now - a little bit of checking mails - to prepare myself for the work needed when I'm back in office and to do a little of mailings as well. Meanwhile, I'll learn to enjoy my vacation as the 'out of office auto reply' in my mailbox is left on. ;)

But I'm not officially working! So, I'm not YET a workoholic!!! blek~

Home sweet home

2005-10-31T01:37:00.000-08:00

It has been more than a month since I last came home. It is definitely great to be home, with my mom and sis. I miss them so much! Today, Mom, sis and I decided to go to Midvalley for a day of shopping. Bonus to that, I treated us a great meal of lunch at The Manhattan Fish Market. :) Bill came up to RM90+! Haha, but it was the time spent and the good food that made it worth paying for. Shopping wasn't that extreme as there isn't much sales on-going.

Yesterday, mom and I decided to go visit grandma. She's still weak, but now with the new maid she's looking more radiant and has put on weight since the last visit. Grandma's eyesight is deteriorating and only recognises us through our voice. Though I was never close to her since young, I took more innitiative to talk to her and tell her stories to cheer her up. She must be real lonely all alone in that big mansion. Too bad Joash is back in Kuantan this festive holidays, she likes it when he goes along with me there.

Side track: My 2 nieces are so big now! (still remember them in their diapers, heh!) and sssssssssssooooooooooooooooo pretty! wow, I can imagine how pretty they're gona be when they grow up! (just like my cousin sis~)

I'm glad I took 2 days of leave for a total of 9 days off work to be where I am now. Meeting back family members sure is great joy.

Thank God for my family.

Home Sweet Home.

Have you settled down?

2005-10-30T17:03:00.000-08:00

(Blogging from Klang.)
Ever since I decided to go up Penang to begin my life's new chapter, I often get questions like "Have you properly settled down in Penang?" or that sort whenever I login to Y! for chat or bump into people I know. Thanks :) for asking. I usually answer "I'm good." though I wonder to myself, what it means by "properly settled".

I've been in Penang for almost 4 months now. And I must say, that the first 3 months was the hardest. I had to go through many stages of challenges and obstacles; testing my independence, my ability to take care of myself, putting to test my walk with the Lord. I wouldnt say that I've successfully gone through all challenges and difficulties, though I've victoriously walked out of many. I know many more different challenges will come in near future - after all, whats life if we stopped growing?

So have I really settled down? Hmmm.... Well where God place me, I not only had to go through adjusting to working life like every other new grads, I had to also adapt to the new surrounding, go through feeling lonely and missing people back home. Now, by God's grace I'm quite used to the working life, liking the lifestyle and surrounding in penang, and do not feel lonely as much. God has been more than gracious - He was totally showering down blessings in abundance.

I am recalling how I was weeks back - being human, I submitted more to feelings than trusting and thanking Him. I not only took things for granted, I was upset that God had not provided what I didnt have. It was when the pg ex-cfers met together for a cg-kinda-thingie for bible study, sharing & prayer that I realised through a brother's humility and thankfulness that I felt ashamed that I did not have his kind of attitude of thanksgiving & gratitude for our Lord. Who am I to ask and who am I to complain for God has already given His only son for me on the cross. It was after that, that I had settled the unsettled business I had with God - hurt and dissapointment that I have been keeping for years. Funny that I only realised I had such hurt and dissapointment with God only when I'm far away from home - my comfort zone, when I was totally alone with God; depending on Him daily.

I now know I have much to learn, I feel that God's really ready to teach me a lot.... but am I ready for it? I pray that I will have the strength needed. That brother in the ex-cfers meet said "God will not lead us to where His grace is not sufficient for us." :) I only smiled at how real that phrase sounds. Amen to that!

After an encounter with God just weeks back where He refreshed my spirit (in the car :p) and I was blessed with His joy - and immediately I felt what I loved to sing - So blessed, I can't contain it, so much I got to give it away!

I look back at the series of prominent encounters which turned me around to gaze at Him made me realise how small and easy my problems were to God. Indeed nothing is too big for our God!
I now enjoy daily conversations with God every morning. I'm not lonely in Penang. He's with me at all times; plus Daddy provides many people to walk together-gether. Praise God for the ex-cfers. God had used them (at the perfect timing) to turn me back (though they dont realise it!).

Looking back at the footprints of many struggles; it was difficult, and sometimes I even asked why do God call me into something so difficult. I felt like the Israelites being called out from Eygpt into the dessert. I was like them too, complaining all day long. Only difference is that I took 3 months instead of 40 years! Haha~ Praise God for that huh. :) It is real when we face troubles, God can seem super far away - as though He's heavens apart from earth. But it is real too that when we face troubles, God's hand is reaching out to us, aiding us to trust Him. I know God did just that to me. Through the many series of pain, though I was almost walking away from Him, I could STILL feel Him near and close. I guess the only explanation is our flesh and emotions tell us God is far but our spirit convinces us otherwise.

I don't think my sharings here is clear straight to the point, because I have none to make. These are only pure sharings of my recent encounters. Back to the question; Have I settled down?
I can only smile as I write, and say to God; Thank You for helping me settle down.
Life's a long learning process. It is our childhood on earth - preparing for our eternity in heaven.

Am still learning..... am still going through certain things in the 'settling down' process... but now with a different kind of attitude - one filled with much gratitude and praise for our Father in Heaven.

Thank you friends - family in Christ; who played your part as angels. Blessed I am.

MY very own golden retriever!

2005-10-26T05:34:00.000-07:00

And I shall name him "Shadow". His nickname shall be "Shay"!

=) *smiles*

I yet to have a golden retriever. But I definitely will, I promise! An obsession (increased now - after last Fri's encounter with "Sam"; my manager's golden) for this breed of dog ever since....... ages ago!

up, up & up!

2005-10-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

What's up?

3 projects running simultaneously in parallel.
driving skills improved! *winks*
eating lots during the weekends - weight gained. :(
daily conversations with God. =)
weekly ex-cfers meetup for bible study, sharing and prayer. :>
more sampatness with colleagues.
going home.... going home.... going home for 9 days!

quizzie quiz?

2005-10-22T12:40:00.000-07:00

Per request from my 'daughter'...... Here goes... :D

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Suchie
2. Chen
3. &..........my real name of course!

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. pedigree_gurl
2. eihcus_doggie
3. ladida

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Eyes
2. Smile
3. ...... think I like every thing physical about myself! 'cept below...

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
..........height!

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Anything that crawls & glides! 'cept cockroaches & lizards *grin*
2. Water
3. Height

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Conversation with God
2. Phone call from Chicuck
3. Friends & anything that has to do with them

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. White T
2. Blue shortie
3. Undie (Is this some trick Q?)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
I think my taste changes (a lot!) from time to time.....
1. The Corrs (the only constant one)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. We are the reason
2. Eternal flame -Human Nature-
3. All the love in the world -The Corrs-

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
I want more than 3 things actually..... heh. But the top three would be same as Ona's;
1. honesty and trust
2. humor and excitement
3. lotsa sharings

2 TRUTHS 1 LIE:
1. I've never sat on a motorbike before.
2. I almost nearly fell into a tiger's cage in Zoo Negara when I was 6 yrs old.
3. I don't know how to lie. >:)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Smile!
2. Height (not too much taller than me though. :p)
3. Eyes

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. The movies
2. Drawing, painting, making crafts
3. Listening to music

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Hang out & sampating & talk talk talk talk talk with friends I miss so badly.
2. Walk barefoot on the beach with Chicuck, enjoying the sunset and a lil picnic.
3. Buy a golden retriever pup from the pet shop! >:)

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Teacher/ lecturer
2. Engineer (for now at least)
3. Full-time volunteer with charity organizations.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. The whole of Europe (equals to more than 3 places :p) er... Italy!
2. South Africa
3. Israel

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Have a beautiful home, happily married with 2 kids & a golden retriever. :p
2. Attend all my close friends' weddings & be their kids' godmom.
3. Bless as many ppl as I can with everything God-given me.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. Ego! :p
..........nothing else I can think of~! perhaps someone shud enlighten me.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. Cry so easily!
2. Emo
3. Merajuk queen

THREE MALE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Chris from 98 degrees
2. Keanu Reeves
3. Tom Cruise
Note: These are super duper ancient time ago...... Hehe... now I only have a deep crush on an ordinary guy. So boring hor!

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW: ...... so many! Can't name only 3!

Oh so beautiful!

2005-10-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

Friendship Oh so beautiful.

Thank YOU God - for very blessed I am by the many beautiful friendship. :)
Angels Oh so beautiful!

We share joy, we share Your love, Lord. We share laughters, we share tears. We share burdens, we share worries, we share hardships and struggles. But we share too triumphs and testimonies.
We write to one another, we sms one another, we call one another!
We lend a shoulder to cry on, we lend a listening ear, we build each other up, we encourage, we inspire, we care, we love, we pray and lift each other up unto You, Lord. Thank You God for these angels in disguise. They make our walk here on earth somehow easier and our life more beautiful.

It's all because You have given. Thank you Thank you God for even distance does not hinder friendship. :)
Blessed. Truly blessed.

Engineer's Valentine Poem

2005-10-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Hahaha.... Dear, this is for you! :x :))

I was alone and all was dark,
Beneath me and above
My life was full of volts and amps
But not the spark of love.

But now that you are here with me
My heart is overjoyed,
You turn the square of my heart,
Into a sinusoid.

You load things from my memory,
Onto my systems bus.
My life was once assembly code,
Now its C++.

I love the way you solder things,
My circuits you can fix.
The voltage across your diode is,
much more than just point six.
With your amps and resistors,
You have built my integrator.
I cannot survive without you,
You are my function generator.

You have charged my life,
Increased my gain and made my maths discrete.
And now I'll end my poem,
Control, Alt, and Delete

Simple things in life

2005-10-13T17:49:00.000-07:00

Am amazed at how simple things in life can lift me up. Many life's simple things like an email from a friend, a cup of hot chocolate in the morning in the freezing cold office, the fresh smell after rain early in the morning, a beautiful sunset view while driving back from work, an unexpected appreciation note left by housemate, a reasonably quick dinner with a few friends from uni, a funny joke made by colleague, listening to all-time fav song......... how these things that happens rather often and casual; though "no big deal" and though not once-in-a-lifetime event, these simple things makes my day. :)

Am blessed by the beautiful things in life - and the fact that I'm able to see, hear, smell and feel is a blessing in itself.
Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful; a good friend of mine's fav phrase. How true! Am learning to appreciate the little wonderful things that God has given.

"The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched. They are felt in the heart." Hellen Keller

Since a few days ago, I start my day by talking to God (in the car, driving to work); committing the day unto Him and just a casual chat with my Daddy. Ever since then, my day at work somehow feels different. I'm not able to describe them; but there's a sense of joy and peace in me throughout the day; and I appear bubblier then ever (though am loaded with work). Try it!

Events keeping me on my feet!

2005-10-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

Just to cheer myself up a little - to blog on the series of events thats keeping me up, up and up! :D

Pastor Paul is coming to Penang! Almost the whole Sarawak missions team '05 will be coming up to Penang - and I with few other pg folks get to play host! :D The girls whom I loooooooovvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee lots will be staying here this weekend with me! *can't wait*
Su Lin is back in Penang! Wow, I miss that girl so much!!!!!! I'll get to taikacher her during her internship here for 3 months. :> Besides, Joshua will be here too! =) SO looking forward for their coming! Wee Ni will be in my team for her internship! I'll be jaga-ing her as well. Hopefully I'll have time to really show and teach her stuffs. I enjoyed my intership at ETMS SO super duper much! Moo-Moo grandma is back in Penang too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:D<
BBQ! Colleagues are planning to have a BBQ at my apartment. It'll be nice for us to spend some time together outside office. =)
WEFT (Working Environment Focus Team) committee - which i'm apart of am super duper semangat about the upcoming Depa-raya! Putting up lotsa lotsa decos around the office. I'm assisting in the WEFT T-shirt design as well. Don't think I've mentioned this in the blog before - for a lil background, the WEFT committee is a team of 25 in PG2 (my office building) of 300 employees; responsible in making the office a better environment to work in! Our lastest project (just passed not long ago) was lauching of our new club house. We now have a beautifully ikea-like clubhouse with foosball table, PS2 game station with LCD screen, board games, cards, magazines and carrom.
1 week break for deepa-raya. Time for me to go back Klang~ I sure do miss my family back home!

Meanwhile, work is piling piling piling! Ladida~

Ever felt....?

2005-10-10T05:37:00.000-07:00

sad?
lonely?
hurt?
forsaken?

Life isn't always about MYSELF!!!

What happened to the spirit of giving, loving, encouraging, inspiring and blessing others? I miss loving ppl. I miss caring for ppl. I miss the old ME. I miss being ME!

Have I left all that I am and who I am when I came here? Why does where I am now feel so difficult?

I am....
tired
tested (think I'm failing)
consumed
giving up (putting in so much effort... but WHY oh WHY!)
far away from God (farther by the days)

My mind is small - too small for all these happenings.

I need....
GOD
more strength!

Meanwhile, my life ain't that miserable. =) Thank God for angels. Yeps - good friends who stick by, and whom cheers u up by just being themselves. *Blessed* and Thank God too for a series of events that's keeping me on my feet this month. :)

Owh.. I am..... also
persevering!
trusting God
trying to make lemonade out of lemons.

(if the mood of this post is changing rather too quickly... it must be the work of the spirit.)

In our weakness He is strong.

2005-10-03T13:10:00.000-07:00

Ever felt that sometimes though we put in our best, and yet it still feels helpless; as though all our effort seems useless, redundant or even unappreciated.

Perhaps our weaknesses are limiting our best. Perhaps our best isn't good enough. Perhaps all we do is humanly. Perhaps we can do more but am limited by our emotions, hurts and feelings.
But good news is in our weaknesses, God is strong - I've heard and told ppl many times, that we just gota do our best, and let God do the rest. God is always ever sufficient. He is ABLE to turn something as small as a mustard seed into a mighty strong tree - we just need that little mustard seed kind of faith. For God to water, for Him to nurture, and for Him to help us bear fruit.

This is all I can offer - my best. May God miraculously turn my 5 loaves and 2 fishes into something more. Something that evidently glorifies Him.

Been here and there, been this and that.

2005-09-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

Been MIA from blogging world for quite a while.

So, I've been here and there, been this and that. I'm well and alive! Much to say... much updates since I last blogged. Much has happened.... ups and downs... God's bringing me through an exciting journey here - though some parts of it ain't very pleasant - but like piggie says, its a new chapter of life. To add to that, am taken back and felt how beautiful life is, that God personally writes our life story... and we each have a 'book' of our own.. everything that we go through (or have gone through), every person in our life... is in that book! It would be super detailed - with the amount of tears u've cried, or the intensity of our joy, our expressions and feelings, our concerns and worries, and our thoughts; amongst the many more!

Been telling people that I'm so glad and thankful that I have God in my life. It is in Him that I have hope! Imagine if I never knew Him? I would be so afraid and anxious of my future, my life purpose and imagine the amount of questions and uncertainties?
Phew~!

So wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever that you have to go through! God is carrying you through your life in His arms of love..... be assured that God is faithfully with us ALWAYS! He never forsakes!
In the circumstances that we're in, look unto Him for light. I'm in the same learning process too~ ;)

Blessed Footprints

2005-08-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

It has been almost 2 months since I came to Penang. Tonight, I had a mini reflection of myself here in the pearl of orient. I read back my previous posts in this blog, and wow! God has been carrying me through. His hands of love, protection, favour, grace, peace and comfort are so clearly seen.

Way before I came here, I had fear. I cried a lot too. Then, there were unanswered prayers. I was at a crossroad. God has asked me to take a step of faith with Him. And I did. I took that step of faith; leaving familiar grounds, family and friends… not with my own strength but with God by my side. Coming here at first wasn’t easy. I missed a lot of people (and I still miss a lot of people :p), I was afraid to drive, I was afraid (slightly) of the workforce, I was also alien to this place. I did not have many good friends here, and I don’t really know how to get around the island. Now, I can drive around (grin), I am enjoying my work, and I’m having real good friends here.

God has been good (He always is!). One door after another was opened; opportunities came, and He held my hand towards them. Every step I took, every moment I am here, I know His hands are holding mine. And when I am too tired to walk on, He carried me in His arms. J Blessed. Nothing I ever did, nothing I ever was or am deserves all these. For Him to die for my sins on the cross, for Him to love me so much, for him to give more than I need…. it takes more than words to describe.

God provided. From something as small as a parking lot in the apartment (when everyone waits for a year to get it) to as big as opportunity to teach children tuition. It’s Him. So real, He is. So amazing, His love is. So divine, His timing and plans.

If I could count the things I wish I had or wanted – there would be thousands perhaps. But the things He gave to me freely – uncountable! – as many as the stars in the galaxy, that’s how much God has given (and He is still giving!!!). And how much has God loved (and He is still loving!!!)? My mind is too small to imagine! J

BLESSED FOOTPRINTS

Random updates

2005-08-23T12:30:00.000-07:00

Decided to have a quick lunch in my cube so that I'll be able to update my havent-been-updated blog. So I am quickly munching my toasted ham & cheese sandwich I made this morning. All for the sake of blogging! :))

Busy - a word to describe this week. This whole week, I've been staying at the office from 7am to 7pm. More work coming in, in addition to the final analysis due date in 3 weeks time, plus I'll be taking offs next Mon & Tues. But work has been good - though tedious and lots of brain power (grin) required, I have a good boss and good manager, a good supervisor and a good mentor as well! Colleagues are nice, more than willing to lend an ear and quick in answering my questions. :) (And boy, do I have a lot of Qs or what!)

Muahaha I'll be having a 5 days break starting this Saturday! Whhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeee~ Can't wait to get back home to spend time with loved ones!!!! I miss YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU & YOU! So, how does it feel like missing so many people at the same time? It feels like MISSING A LOT OF PPL lo!

Am feeling very blessed in so many ways!

I've been updated that the MMU is having their internship this coming October. And joining me in Intel are Su Lin and Wee Ni. Infact, Wee Ni will be in my department! :D Looking forward to the girls' coming! Joining me in Penang are Joshua (in KESP) and Lincoln (in Gurney Tower). Looking forward to the boys' coming!

Tuition has been great. I'm teaching ENGLISH! Mien, I hated english all my life - the ironic thing is English is my primary spoken and written language! The children coming for the tuition are from chinese education background thus poor in english. So, I'll have to teach in MANDARIN! It's hard when they ask me what does certain word mean, and I'll be scratching my head to think of the word in chinese! :)) If I explain in Malay, the girls will tell me the chinese word for it - So, I get to learn mandarin at the same time! How blessed! :D
Funny that though I had til primary 3 level of chinese education, I find it hard to speak, and my vocabulary is SO limited! Hopefully by practising, I'll improve. Colleagues and housemate can't help but laugh everytime I speak to them in mandarin!hmph~ They do correct me though!

Cell group is OK. We're eating a lot during cgs. All the girls in my cell are FANTASTIC COOKS! Mien, they cook super keng chou-ly!!!!!! Almost professional! And, they love to cook! We gather earlier to have dinner together, usually consisting appetizer, main course and dessert!
Though haven't done any in depth bible study, we've been having lots of sharings and prayer.

Been trying to form our own bible study group in penang with others excfers here. I told Annette the news and she's super excited! :) I've always been so inspired and encouraged by that lady; her life, her works and her teachings! I think it's quite difficult to find a time and place to accommodate everyone, but I am really determined to have it! I know and trust that my daddy God will provide and iron things out. Pray with me ya!

Prayers. They work wonders! :) "When we clasp our hands in prayer, God opens His."

The one who haven't been blogging.

2005-08-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

It has been ages since I last posted anything up. We have streamyx up at home, but I can't access blogger! And, it's the only site that cannot load. I do not feel good occupying the bandwidth for personal usage during working hours, resulting to the lag in updates here. SORRY! (Btw, I'm blogging from work now... I did not go for lunch today as the breakfast I had at 10am is still undigestingly sitting in my stomach.)

So for some quick updates from the pearl of orient;

Work is piling up. more and more projects coming in and I'm getting more assignments. Learning and picking up things from on the job training as well as from colleagues. I'm enjoying work. I'm involved in the electrical analysis and design. Somethings they teach in uni is actually relevant if not practical in the industry - Performance vs. cost. With our so-call engineering judgement, we're required to push for performance yet optimize cost! Btw, engineers aren't THAT square - not all at least. :p
Attended the MMU Masters preview last Sat (Dr. Ong and Dr. Faidz could recognise me! :p); decided not to enroll for this coming September Microelectronics intake. Many thanks to those who've lent an ear and much advices. =) Reason: I need more time to properly settle down at work and invest more time serving in church. Perhaps next intake in April? *winks*
Speaking of church, I'm very happily settled down in Georgetown South Baptist Church. Pastor Yeo asked me yesterday to assist lead a new cell group for the young working adults. More young working adults are joining the church and thus far, we do not have a particular cell group for the group. I really respect and look up to Pastor Yeo; at the same time learning alot from him. I realised that the word he uses most in sharing his vision was LOVE. No wonder, the moment I stepped into the church, I could feel love. God's love? *winks* I'm also planning to be involved in teaching tuition! Whhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ Every saturday, the church gives tuition to financially-lacking children (non-believers) in the community with their homework! What an opportunity for me!

Been truly blessed by the faithfulness of God. Been very blessed, encouraged and inspired by many lives. Next, may I be a blessing, may I be able to encourage and inspire as much as I have been receiving. :)

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Sabbath and fellowship

2005-07-10T23:00:00.000-07:00

Genesis 2:2-3 “By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that He had done.”

It was my second visit to Southern Georgetown Baptist Church at Relau. And….. I drove! (yeaps, all the way to Relau) Church was GREAT. We sang “Hari Ini” as the first worship song. And as we sing, I felt like crying. “Hari Ini” used to be a song most of us would sing very often; partly because it is a simple song with fun actions and easy to think of in times of last-min worship lead. Today, “Hari Ini” brings a whole different meaning to me. It reminds me of the time spent in Sarawak with the team and the Ibans. It reminds me of God’s evident love through His people. I have truly experienced the words of the song “Bergandingan tangan, dalam kasih dalam satu hati. Berjalan dalam terang kasih Tuhan. Kau sahabatku, kau saudaraku. Tiada yang dapat memisahkan Kita.” I still remember Jane’s phrase “Dalam kasih Tuhan, kita bersaudara.” Simply amazing that in God’s love we are family! Though I am far from many close brothers and sisters physically, I still feel near at heart. I thank many for listening, for msging, for mailing, for smsing verses, and for sharing. God has used His people to show His love and care for me.... and this has encouraged and strengthened me. So for all you wonderful children of God, THANK YOU and truly "tiada yang dapat memisahkan kita".

As part of the 40 Days of Purpose Driven Life, the message today was “We were made for God’s family”. “We belong in a church, we don’t simply just attend church.” the church deacon made his point. He emphasized the importance of fellowship in God’s family and our responsibilities as family members. As he shares his personal experiences and as he encourages the congregation, I felt that God’s spirit was doing something in my heart. Last time, I didn’t know how to fit in a church – I always had the problem of feeling belong in a church. Today, being my second time in SGBC, I felt strongly in my spirit that this is the church I’m going to belong to. From the deacon’s sharing, I sensed much love and real fellowship among the church members. Never have I felt this towards any church I’ve visited or attended before! I feel truly blessed and privileged to be apart of this family.

Last night when I read Leona’s blog, I was encouraged by her sharing; God answered her prayers and blessed her with even more than what she had asked for.
This morning, I asked God to help me make friends at church and He answered my prayer by giving me a church so lovely, a pastor so warm, and church members so friendly and hospitable. *smiles*

I’m in awe; God the creator of heaven and earth, God the mighty and God the holy is our Abba Father. How privilege we are!

The work force

2005-07-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I last blogged. Thus there's much to update, much to say and much to share. Here I go;

Wednesday was the end of orientation. I was having mixed feelings then; sad cum excited. Sad because I had to bid farewell to my new-made friends who'll be working at Intel Kulim yet excited because I finally get to start real work! Anyway, Kulim ain't that far away - we've exchanged contacts and the Kulim fellas will always come by Intel Penang for trainings and classes. Haha!
It was wednesday night that Jen, KLim and I met up with Joehan - a friend I've grown close to during industrial training in Intel Penang last year. One who I admire for his persistency in giving his 101% in everything he does. Dinner was good - I had my favourite curry mee at Teluk Bayan FC; in fact it was Jen, Joe and my favourite since industrial training. Teluk Bayan FC sure bring back good memories! We then decided to drop by the pasar malam near my apartment - and wow, the variety of malay food it offers... makes you drool! :))

Thursday was my unofficial first day of work. It was the day I reported in to ETMS, PDC. I made my way to our new office in PG2 at 7.45am; and I got lost! :p Thank goodness a good samaritan guided me to the new office. I went in and the first person I saw was Jimmy! Jimmy was my senior during internship. Then, he used to answer all my questions on the work - in other words, I used to bug him a lot! Next, I met Chen. As always, he had his million-dollar smile carved from cheek to cheek. It was nice to see my helpful and dedicated supervisor again. Since most of them were busy with US counterparts via net meeting, I decided to go find my own cube - Wow! I get my own big cube with a 17" flat panel LCD screen with a mini kengchou CPU and cabinet drawers. BLESSED! This is where I'm going to work and where I'm going to be used by God! Feeling excited, I started walking around; hoping to bump into colleagues, went to look for William at the other end of the office; found him (but he too was on net meeting), and smiled-waved at people I recognised. ETMS sure has grown! from plus-minus 25 people to 50+ in 6 months!!!

As I see the faces of the people I met; the new and the old, I asked myself; how am I going to be different - How to be Christlike at my work place? How am I going to be used by God to share the gospel to His ppl here? How must I act or behave?

And as I thought further and was still thinking on Friday, I got frustrated. My mind started coming up with various weird thoughts! Does being God's light equals to being likable? (But the teachers of the law never liked Jesus very much! :p) I felt that I do not have the ability to be what I needed to be; and I suck at blending into a new community. I've never been a people's people! Worse, I sensed some competitiveness within the office already. The working environment suddenly seemed alien. People aren't as naive and simple as they were in uni. At work, people focus on climbing up the corporate ladder; and many have warned that some would do almost anything and everything (including betrayal) to go 'up'. Sigh; will there be office politics and back-stabbing? These are my greatest fears. On one hand, I have warnings to be careful with who I mixes with, to not get too involved with colleagues' life, to keep a distance, and to prevent myself from getting hurt. On the contrary on the other hand, I have wantings to know them personally, to care and to share, and to love. The phrase "I'm in the world but not of the world." was in my head the whole time. Yes I know, but HOW!?!

I really hope to be of good use to God and His kingdom here. I really want to do something, not just be apart of the crazy ratrace competition in Intel! I want to be a channel of blessing; I want to potray God's light at my workplace. But I know that I can't do them by my own strength. As I cried out of frustration to Joash, I told him I don't know how to act in my office and I don't know how to behave to be His 'salt and light'. Joash told me not to poressure myself with that too much, and just trust God. He said sometimes we do not need answers; we just have to be faithful.
We do not have to think of the actions! We just have to avail ourselves to be used by God. We first have to abide in God in order to reflect Jesus! Suddenly I remembered something Pastor Kenneth shared before, that the closer we are to God, the closer we are in becoming like Him and reflecting His image. Here's a good reminder - Our God can use even the simplest things to glorify him and He does not want our actions... He wants our heart. :)

John 15:5-8 "I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who parts from me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you stay joined to me and my words remain in you, you may ask any request you lke, and it will be granted! My true disciples produce much fruit. This brings great glory to my Father."

Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Today, I praise God that in my weakness, I am made strong because of Him. I choose to abide in Him; to be faithful and obedient and to trust the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul. =) I am excited - of the journey He's bringing me through and of the plans ahead of me! Are you?

Day #2: =)

2005-07-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

Second day at work - second day of orientation. I survived through 6 hours of boring talks. Yeay! I wasn't as upset today :p though I ALMOST fell asleep a few times. I somehow had a more positive attitude as compared to yesterday's as I'm still learning to cope with going through unexpected events with a smile. But today was quite good - a few of us decided to go out of the campus for lunch; since we had 1 and half hours of lunch break. I had yummy duck rice at Bayan Baru Marketplace Foodcourt - where I met my long lost (not that long la) best bud Su Yin! It was good seeing her again; what more with her new straightened stylish hairdo! ;) Lunch was good, as the 4 of us from the same uni yet different circle of friends could just click together talking, crapping and laughing through the meal. And it was today that I realised that perhaps more than 50% of my batch of engineering graduates are in penang! According to one of my friend, we're having a reunion here soon! Whheeeeeeeee~ How cool! *Here you go, God answered my prayer for company!*

Looking back, I feel a bit foolish that I was even afraid of being lonely in Penang! Then again, it is through difficult situations and experiences like this that God shapes us and causes us to grow out of our fear or weakness. And when we've grown out of that fear or weakness, we feel that the situation wasn't that difficult after all. Heh, but truly it was firstly God's grace and mercy that carried us through and enabled us to grow as we trust Him.

Back at orientation, I was doodling away ~ drawing and sketching almost anything that came to mind - rock, flowers, fishes, shapes and even tried Joash's potrait. :p Van Gogh I am not! Then I realised that I've packed my poster paints to Penang - which also reminds me that I have not painted since er.... very long ago. I remember telling Julia that if I have the time and money, I'd love to take up oil canvas painting. Hmm... that's still in my 'to-dos' list - perhaps later when I'm more settled down and financially stabled. I've decided to go buy an art block one day to start poster painting again. Yeay!

Finally, Joash is back in KL. He left this morning by express bus. So I'm on my own now. :p Decided to eat in tonight since I bought some groceries from Tesco yesterday. I made myself and my housemate (Shu Shan) toasted wholemeal baton bread with tuna and chicken frankfurter topped with cheddar cheese. Yumm? But it got a bit chao ta! I'm very glad I'm clicking well with Shu Shan - we even cannot stop talking in the car on the way back from work. We had to literally fight for a chance to talk! Haha~ Cheng Mun on the other hand, leaves for work before 7am, finishes work at 7pm and comes back after dinner usually near 8 or 9pm. We do chat a bit when she's back from work and all well rested. :)

God has been so faithful and so wonderful! Everything has beensun-shinny great ever since I came here. Here's a challenge for myself: Will I still know and believe that I'm blessed even if a challenge or difficulty is thrown to me in time to come? *winks*

First day @ work

2005-07-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

Waking up at 6.45am isn't a problem; since in Swak we had to wake up at as early as 6am. :D Feeling excited the night before, I packed my bag well and chose what to wear for the big day. (so vain? :p)
Today's it! Yeay~ I'm finally going to work! I've been craving for work - anticipating in joining back ETMS, as I enjoyed my 15-weeks internship with them last September very much. I miss them! I miss the engineer job! I have been looking forward to work! *Though I know I'm going to regret saying this someday~ Haha*

I drove to work today. Traffic was smooth; and I did not scare my first-time-riding-with-me housemate. Praise God! :D Reached in time at 8am, I registered myself and............. Oh crap! I have to attend 3 days of New Employee Orientation - I have to sit through 3 days of briefings and introductory sessions of various departments in Intel. *sobs* I felt so upset at the fact that I have to reattend those sessions. But I've already attended them during my first week of internship! And my hope for starting real work today.... devastated! Mien~ This made me so down the whole day - very moody too! Hmm... Come to think of it, dissapointments upset me. When something does not go the way I want to or expect it to be, I'd get moody. :( I'm beginning to dislike my 'Primary C' personality...... or is it just my temper?

However, I'm thankful that through experiences like this, my weaknesses are revealed; and hopefully improve on it. As the potter moulds the clay, I pray that God will continue to mould and shape me into something useful for His kingdom.

Settling down!

2005-07-03T21:44:00.001-07:00

House: Villa Emas in Bayan Bay is NICE! Having my own room - with attached bathroom. :D comfortably settled down; with a lot of photo frames all over the walls and table! Love my tall big shelf for my books and stationaries. Many soft toys too - they keep me company~ heh! Since my apartment has only one car park, I have to park my car at the visitor carpark everyday; but thank God the carpark is just opposite the guard house and as long as I'm back by 7pm daily, I'll have a spot there. :D Apartment is nice - cozy cooling environment; good for families! Kids around makes this place lively and chirpy! =) My landlady is a very nice person too! So far, we're equipped with nice built-in kitchen cabinet with ironing board, phone line, streamyx, water heater, and fridge. Planning to get a tv and perhaps a washing machine as well. Yet to know my neighbours, but havent seen any humans on this floor yet! :p Oh, I'm blessed with friendly housemates too!
Church: Had my first sunday here today; Joash and I visited Southern Georgetown Baptist Church at Relau. Such friendly and warm people! Senior Pastor; Pastor Yeoh is extra warm and nice - reminds me of Pastor Paul and Pastor Kanyan (minus the jokes :p). So many high ranking managers from Intel, Dell, Seagate, Agilent and Motorola - and they're SO friendly. Most of them are asking Joash to send his resume to them! =)) I'm planning to join their cell group at Sg. Nibong (less than 5 mins away from my apartment) this coming friday. The church is in the midst of 40 Purpose Driven Life program; cell groups are splitted into even smaller groups and to go into colleagues/relatives' homes for evangelism and sharing. How cool?
Work: Tomorrow is my first day! Yeay! I'm currently feeling very excited about work. I'll be joining the same team and department as the one I was in during Industrial Training. I can't wait to meet back the people in the team! But according to William (Wei Huan), the team grew in numbers - it is now double its size! :O I can't wait to get started with work and use my brains!!! >:) *I hope I don't regret saying this :p*
Etc: My driving is improving (according to Joash). "I'm exercising the brakes more, Daniel Boss!" However, I will only drive around Bayan Lepas - mainly to and fro work (15 mins travel), and around Sg. Nibong, Taman Pekaka, Sg. Dua, Bayan Baru and Bukit Jambul - due to the crazy penang traffic. :p

Is fear sinking in?

2005-07-03T19:00:00.000-07:00

Joash, Kuong Lim, Alan and I decided to go for a movie last night; War of the worlds. The show was so-s0; wasn't my kind of movie though I did enjoy watching Tom Cruise's act! :p
Anyway, suddenly in the midst of the movie, I started having thoughts; thoughts of how things will be when Joash goes back to KL, thoughts of whether or not will I have good friends around; various thoughts came due to uncertanties I need to face during this period of settling down. I started to fear. I tried diverting my mind from those thoughts to the movie, and it worked... well, for awhile!

Back from the movie, the fear came back again. Darn. Suddenly I felt those uncertainties again. Will I have good friends here? How am I to drive around on my own? How's church going to be like? Am I going to be lonely? I started to miss my family and close friends back at home. I started to miss Joash (though he was just right behind me, reading on the bed). I started feeling afraid. However, the more afraid I became, the more I remember that fear is never from God. I started to meditate upon God's goodness and promises. I started looking up instead of looking around. Then, the fear I had went off.
As I discussed with Joash later, I found that I am fighting against flesh. My spirit is asking me to be strong and bold, to trust God with all my heart, mind and soul. But my flesh is afraid. My flesh needs certainties. Well, having personality 'Primary C' type, I sorta need details to everything that affects me - in other words, I don't like uncertainties! I "need" to know the answers to all the questions above!

In church this morning, a guy going fulltime shared a verse which encouraged him to take the path God called him to; "Sorrow makes you look back, Fear makes you look around, but Faith makes you look up." I need faith - I need to trust that God is with me, He's there to protect me, He's laying down the path for me and all I have to do is be obedient and press on.
Annette told me that this year in penang, God is going to mould and prepare me for His works. If true, I think God's starting with 'need-to-know-all-answers-and-details'. Haha! After all, the only answer I got while praying for a direction at the decision-making crossroad was "You don't need an answer to step out in faith."

It's Faith vs. Fear!